Surrogacy is a beautiful journey that will enrich your life. Many surrogates repeat the journey as many times as able, but that first step can be difficult. Deciding to give someone the gift of love requires taking a jump into the unknown. As a staff of surrogates and egg donors, we know it can be daunting, so we wanted to provide some things to expect when you’re expecting for someone else.
Here are some things to be aware of when becoming a surrogate for the first time.
The Screening Process is Very Thorough
To assure that you will have a safe pregnancy and are the right fit for a surrogacy journey, you will have to go through a screening process. This is the same for any surrogacy agency. Thorough screening assures the Intended Parents and you that there will be fewer complications throughout the surrogacy.
First, you’ll need to send in an application that qualifies you against all our requirements. These prerequisites are in place for health, legal, and safety reasons and are the baseline for acceptance into this program. Every surrogacy agency has qualifications that match its base of operations and personal mission.
If our team determines that your medical records and application information qualify you to be a surrogate with us, we’ll reach out to confirm your interest in this journey. During that interview, we run through the process, expectations, and commitments you plan on making so that you’re fully informed. Then, you’ll have a scheduled psychological interview while we run a background check. Presuming you pass those steps, we move on to matching!
You Will Need To Make Some Changes
When you work out your surrogacy contract with your Intended Parents, they may ask you to make some changes to your lifestyle for the sake of the embryo. During the contract agreements, you can decline any requests or compromise in a way that makes everyone happy. Once the contract is signed, you have legally agreed to those terms. For example, if the Intended Parents would like you to eat entirely organic for the duration of your pregnancy and you agree to the contract, you may need to alter your diet. Of course, any increases to your household budget can factor into your compensation, per the agreement.
In addition, many doctors advise gestational carriers to refrain from sex around the time of implantation. While intercourse or orgasms very rarely cause complications, any controllable risk is too high with embryo implantation. Likewise, you may be asked not to travel for the duration of your pregnancy. Finally, you will be required to quarantine two weeks before the birth of the child for the safety of all parties involved. Remember, any requests are in the best interest of the child, and you should be open to compromise with your Intended Parents.
It May Take Some Time
Implanting an embryo requires you to be on hormones and fertility-boosting medications, which can be a lot of work! Make sure that you have a support system in place that can help you remember and make sure that you’re feeling okay during the process. IVF can take it out of you.
Gestational Surrogacy is a finely tuned science, but it is far from exact. Anything can happen in those first few months, so it may take a few tries for a pregnancy to result. Don’t get discouraged! You were chosen as a surrogate because you can do this, and you will. Just give it time.
You Choose Who to Work With
You will not be assigned, Intended Parents! This is one of the biggest misconceptions about surrogacy on television. The matching process connects potential surrogates with potential Intended Parents so that they can chat about their ideals, visions for the journey, and preferences about the pregnancy. If you don’t feel that you and the Intended Parents are a good fit let your representative know, and the matching process will continue. That’s what we’re here to do.
Remember during the matching process that it’s not about looking for people who want to have a child, it’s about entering into a relationship with the Intended Parents. You will be in contact with them for the next nine months and often afterward. Some of the most fulfilling Surrogate/Intended Parent relationships spur lifelong friendships that border on being family!
Connect With an Experienced Surrogate for More Support
The best way for you to find someone who understands what you’re going through is to reach out to an experienced surrogate. You may know someone in your life who has gone on this journey before, or you may not! There are plenty of support groups online and in your area that you can reach out to as well.
One of the benefits of working with Simple Surrogacy is an experienced surrogate is always a phone call away. Our staff is female-led and made up of former Surrogates and Egg Donors! If you’d like some support during your journey or are nervous about what’s coming up next, we can provide you with the assurance you need from our own experiences.
Have Fun With It
During your pregnancy did you take pictures of fruit and compare it with the size of your child for social media? These practices are fun and can lead to more delightful memories from the pregnancy. Think of things you loved about your pregnancy and discuss doing them with the Intended Parents! The Intended Parents likely want to have all the fun events associated with a traditional pregnancy but are not sure how to ask you. This is not just a clinical process, it’s a beautiful journey; make the most of it!
Your family and support system will also be involved in the process, so let them get excited about your journey! Your child may want to tell their class about how you’re “babysitting” for another family, or you may inspire a friend or family member to go through the surrogacy process themselves.
For more information on becoming a Surrogate, please reach out to Simple Surrogacy here.
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