How Do I Announce My Surrogacy Pregnancy?

First off, congratulations! Your journey is going as well as one could hope for and you have received that long-awaited piece of good news: your Surrogate is pregnant. As with any pregnancy announcement, Intended Parents tend to want to scream it from the proverbial rooftops – but how each Intended Parent navigates that depends largely on external factors and personal preferences. 

Keep reading for some fun announcement ideas and tips (Note: we do not recommend using pyrotechnics, flames or explosives of any kind when making a pregnancy announcement, via surrogacy or otherwise.):

• Send your ultrasound photo. Many traditional pregnancy announcements include a photo of the pregnancy ultrasound, along with text, and there is no reason that surrogacy pregnancies have to be any different. For more casual relationships that you may not see in person very often, there may be no need to mention the surrogacy at all (although you, of course, can with this option). 

• Make an announcement on social media. This option is so tried-and-true these days that it almost feels too obvious to mention, and yet it must be said. Whether publicly or in a more curated fashion (made possible by ever-updating privacy settings across your social network/s of choice), announcing your surrogacy pregnancy via social media is a simple and straightforward option for any Intended Parent. (Side note: don’t tag your Surrogate or overshare on that front unless you’ve already asked permission. This is her journey too.)  

• Gift your big news. If your child-to-be is going to have a birthday that is close to a gift-giving holiday – or if you just really like giving presents – then you have a prime opportunity to take advantage of with your announcement. This can be as simple as an ultrasound in a frame that says something like “Best Grandma Ever,” or a baby blanket to keep at a beloved relative’s house “for when they babysit the little one.” 

• Personal, one-on-one conversations. Generally speaking, not everyone in your life who you’d want to inform of a pregnancy may be aware that you were trying to conceive, or that you were exploring alternative family planning options. In these cases, the loved one you are telling will likely have quite a few questions for you – either across the board or specifically about how surrogacy works. How much information you want to give them is up to you, but an intimate discussion in a setting that puts the other person at ease – a loved restaurant, a favorite park, etc. – can help make the moment one to remember. 

• Involve your Surrogate for a fun photo announcement. While not always possible due to differing Surrogate contracts, if your Surrogate is on board to be involved with the announcement, that opens up some fun possibilities. Intended Parents may want to do a photo announcement that acknowledges the Surrogate, featuring both the Intended Parents and the Surrogate (and her baby bump, of course). This is a fun and easy way to acknowledge and move past the potential elephant in the room for those who have been open about their fertility struggles, and is simply a fun way to get the word out for those who haven’t spoken about it as much. Plus, who doesn’t love a good “Their bun, my oven” sign? 

Note: If your Surrogate doesn’t want to be in the photos, you can also keep your photo announcement simpler without going the ultrasound route: the Intended Parents can pose with a onesie, or a pair of baby shoes, or another piece of preferred baby gear that will get the message across to your loved ones. 

• Flex those creativity muscles to make a more unorthodox announcement. Maybe you’d like to use photos of the Intended Parents and the ultrasound to mock-up a “breaking news” newspaper article announcing the big news. Maybe you’d like to write up an announcement as though it’s the summary of a suspenseful film, with the upcoming birth of your child listed as the resolution to a big cliffhanger. 

• Wait until the child has been born to make an announcement. For many reasons, a lot of people who are utilizing alternative family planning have a wide array of feelings about their experience, and that means that not everyone is going to feel the same way about when and how to make the announcement. It’s not uncommon for Intended Parents to simply wait until the child is born to announce anything. This can be an especially useful path to take in cases where family and friend support is either tenuous or unpredictable, or for Intended Parents who simply do not wish to field countless questions from well-intentioned but sometimes overwhelming well-wishers ahead of the birth of their child. In cases where Intended Parents wait to make an announcement, some include practical details like the baby’s stats at birth, while others prefer to go with warm anecdotes. Whatever route you take, be sure to include a sweet photo of your bundle of joy! As a final note, including kind words or well wishes for your Surrogate is always a nice touch. Your Surrogate was compensated, yes, but they are also an indispensable part of your journey towards parenthood and honoring this fact will never go amiss.  

At the end of the day, this is your family and your story, and it’s completely up to you how you choose to tell it. Whichever way you decide to make your big announcement, the wellbeing of your family is without question the most important factor you could possibly consider. Whatever you decide, the experienced professionals at Simple Surrogacy are here to help you at every stage in this exciting journey. 

If you have any questions about being an Intended Parent, Surrogate, or Egg Donor, please contact us. Your journey awaits.