Becoming an intended parent through surrogacy can feel exciting, hopeful—and, at first, a little overwhelming. Most people begin the process with far more questions than answers. Do you need embryos before contacting a surrogacy agency? How do you find a surrogate? What kind of screening is involved? How much should you expect to spend? And how do you know whether you are really ready to begin?
The most important thing to know is that you do not need to have every detail figured out before you start asking questions.
At Simple Surrogacy, we have worked with intended parents since 2002, and we have seen families arrive at surrogacy from many different starting points. Some already have embryos waiting at a fertility clinic. Others need an egg donor, a fertility clinic, or guidance about creating embryos. Some have spent years pursuing fertility treatment, while others always knew surrogacy would likely be part of their path to parenthood.
Wherever you are starting, understanding the surrogacy process for intended parents can make the road ahead feel much more manageable.
An intended parent is a person who intends to become the legal parent of a child born through a surrogacy arrangement.
There is no single type of intended parent. People turn to surrogacy for many reasons, including infertility, medical conditions that make pregnancy impossible or unsafe, previous pregnancy complications, unsuccessful fertility treatment, or the need for a gestational carrier in order to create a genetically related family.
Surrogacy is also an important family-building option for LGBTQ+ intended parents and single parents.
Some intended parents use their own eggs and sperm to create embryos. Others may need an egg donor, sperm donor, or both. Each situation creates a slightly different path, which is why surrogacy should be approached as an individualized journey rather than a one-size-fits-all process.
Earlier than many intended parents think.
You do not necessarily need to have embryos created, a fertility clinic selected, an egg donor chosen, or every financial and legal question answered before speaking with a surrogacy agency.
In fact, having that conversation before making some of those decisions can be helpful.
At Simple Surrogacy, intended parents come to us at many different stages. If you already have frozen embryos and an established relationship with a fertility clinic, we can begin discussing the steps necessary to prepare for matching. If you are much earlier in the process, we can help you understand what will need to happen before a surrogate can ultimately undergo an embryo transfer.
If donor eggs will be part of your journey, you can also learn more about the egg donation process for intended parents.
A good first conversation should help you develop a clearer roadmap—not pressure you into immediately signing an agreement.
The consultation is an opportunity for us to learn about you and for you to learn about us.
We want to understand what brought you to surrogacy, where you are in the fertility process, what kind of journey you envision, and whether there are circumstances that could affect your matching, medical, financial, or legal process.
This is also when we can talk through questions such as whether you already have embryos, whether you need an egg donor, which fertility clinic you plan to use, what qualities are important to you in a surrogate, where you and a potential surrogate live, and what your anticipated timeline and budget may look like.
Just as importantly, you should be interviewing the agency.
Ask how surrogates are screened. Ask who will manage your case. Ask how matching works, what happens if a match does not work out, how financial arrangements are handled, what support is provided during pregnancy, and what happens when something unexpected occurs.
Surrogacy is a significant financial and emotional commitment. You should understand exactly who will be guiding you before choosing an agency.
If you are ready to have that first conversation, you can contact Simple Surrogacy to schedule an intended-parent consultation.
Although every journey is different, most intended parents will move through the same major stages:
The exact order and timing can vary according to your fertility clinic, where you and your surrogate live, whether you already have embryos, and the circumstances of your individual journey.
For a more detailed overview, visit our complete Surrogacy Process Overview for Intended Parents.
Surrogates place an extraordinary amount of trust in the intended parents they agree to carry for. We believe screening and preparation therefore need to work in both directions.
Simple Surrogacy screens intended parents before matching. Our current program requirements include being between the ages of 21 and 60, being able to pass a background check, completing required paperwork accurately, having a stable living situation, being financially prepared for the process, understanding the surrogacy journey, respecting the surrogate’s time and commitment, and participating in a psychological assessment.
When an intended parent has a spouse or partner, we also expect that person to support the journey.
These requirements are not simply administrative hurdles. They help us determine whether everyone entering a match understands the responsibilities involved and is prepared for the relationship ahead.
We also work with intended parents without regard to gender, race, religious affiliation, fertility diagnosis, marital status, or sexual orientation.
This is one part of the process that can sound much more intimidating than it actually is.
Surrogacy creates a relationship unlike most other relationships in your life. Another person will be carrying your child, and during that pregnancy there may be emotional, medical, communication, and boundary issues that you have never had to consider before.
The psychological consultation gives intended parents an opportunity to think through those issues before matching.
How frequently would you like to communicate with your surrogate? What kind of relationship are you hoping to have? How will you handle anxiety during the pregnancy? What are your expectations about prenatal testing or difficult medical situations? How will communication work if you and your surrogate disagree about something?
Professional guidance from the American Society for Reproductive Medicine recognizes psychoeducational counseling for intended parents as an important part of a gestational-carrier arrangement.
We have found that addressing expectations before matching is much easier than trying to resolve fundamentally different expectations after a relationship has already begun.
This is one of the most misunderstood parts of the process.
At Simple Surrogacy, we do not simply hand intended parents a database of available women and ask them to choose someone.
The surrogate chooses first.
Once an intended-parent profile is ready for matching, we present it to appropriate pre-screened surrogates whose criteria align with the intended parents’ circumstances and preferences. When a surrogate is interested in an intended parent or couple, we then present her profile to those intended parents.
That means when you receive a surrogate profile from us, she has already reviewed your profile and has expressed an interest in getting to know you.
If both sides would like to proceed, we arrange a moderated call so everyone can talk. If there is mutual interest after the call, the relationship moves forward toward an in-person meeting and the next stages of screening.
This approach allows both the surrogate and the intended parents to make an informed choice.
Matching is not simply about whether someone medically qualifies to carry a pregnancy. Compatibility matters too. Communication style, expectations for the pregnancy, views about important medical decisions, desired contact after delivery, personality, location, and the kind of relationship each party wants can all matter.
The goal should not be to make the fastest match possible. The goal should be to make a thoughtful match that has a strong foundation for the journey ahead.
For a step-by-step explanation, read Surrogacy 101: The Matching Process.
A match is a major milestone, but it does not mean the surrogate immediately begins medications or undergoes an embryo transfer.
The fertility clinic must still provide final medical clearance. The legal process must be completed. Financial arrangements and escrow must be established. Only after the appropriate medical and legal clearances are issued does the treatment cycle begin.
This separation between matching, screening, legal clearance, and embryo transfer is important.
Surrogacy involves multiple professionals—including the agency, fertility clinic, attorneys, mental-health professionals, insurance professionals, and escrow provider—and each has a different role in protecting the parties and preparing for the pregnancy.
Our medical screening guide explains what surrogates can generally expect during the clinic-clearance stage.
Surrogacy law is not identical across the United States, which makes legal planning an important part of an intended parent’s journey.
The location of the surrogate can be particularly important because the laws governing the agreement and establishment of parentage may depend on the jurisdiction involved.
Both parties should have appropriate legal representation. The surrogate needs an independent attorney representing her interests, while the intended parents have counsel representing theirs.
ASRM guidance similarly recommends independent legal counsel and a fully executed gestational-carrier agreement before treatment begins.
The agreement addresses far more than compensation. It can cover expenses, insurance, communication, pregnancy expectations, prenatal testing, delivery planning, parentage, confidentiality, potential complications, and many other issues.
It is also important for intended parents to understand a fundamental principle of ethical surrogacy: the surrogate remains the patient during pregnancy and retains autonomy over her own medical care. Thoughtful matching and thorough legal discussions are therefore essential long before a difficult decision ever arises.
For a closer look at contracts, independent counsel, and clearance, read Surrogacy 101: The Legal Process.
There is no single number that accurately represents every surrogacy journey.
Total costs may include agency fees, surrogate compensation and benefits, fertility-clinic expenses, embryo creation, egg or sperm donation when necessary, medications, medical screening, attorneys, insurance, escrow administration, travel, pregnancy-related expenses, and other costs that depend on the circumstances of the journey.
Some expenses are predictable. Others are variable.
This is why intended parents should be cautious about comparing agencies using only one advertised number.
Ask what an estimate includes. Ask what it excludes. Ask which expenses are fixed and which can change. Ask when payments are due. Ask what happens financially if a transfer fails, a match ends, or another unexpected event occurs.
Simple Surrogacy publishes detailed information about our surrogacy fees, surrogate compensation, medical expenses, legal costs, and other potential journey expenses because we believe intended parents should understand the financial structure of the journey before making a commitment.
Experience matters, but the number of years an agency has existed should not be the only consideration.
Look at how the agency actually operates.
Find out whether surrogates are screened before or after they are presented for matching. Understand who handles your case after you sign. Ask whether your money is kept separate from the agency’s operating funds and who administers escrow. Understand the rematching policy. Ask how available the agency will be during pregnancy and whether you can speak with former intended parents.
Pay attention to how clearly your questions are answered.
A reputable agency should want you to understand the process before you enter it.
At Simple Surrogacy, our experience comes not only from working in the field since 2002, but also from firsthand experience within third-party reproduction. That perspective has shaped a program built around the idea that surrogacy is not simply a transaction between intended parents and a gestational carrier. It is a relationship that needs thoughtful screening, communication, preparation, and support.
If you are comparing agencies, our guide to choosing a surrogacy agency offers additional questions and considerations to help you evaluate your options.
No. Some intended parents contact Simple Surrogacy after creating embryos, while others are still choosing a fertility clinic, considering an egg donor, or learning about their options. You can begin asking questions before all of those decisions have been made.
Yes. Single intended parents can pursue surrogacy, although the legal and medical details of a journey vary according to individual circumstances and jurisdiction.
Yes. LGBTQ+ family building has long been an important part of our work. The specific fertility, donor, and legal steps will depend on how you plan to create your embryos and where your surrogate lives.
Yes. Simple Surrogacy conducts background checks as part of our intended-parent screening process. We believe screening should protect both sides of a surrogacy match.
Yes. Intended parents in our program participate in a psychological consultation as part of preparing for matching and the relationship with their surrogate.
Yes. Intended parents do not need to live in Texas to work with Simple Surrogacy. The states involved in a journey do matter, however, because surrogacy laws and parentage procedures vary by jurisdiction.
There is no universal timeline. Embryo creation, matching, medical screening, contracts, transfer timing, whether the first embryo transfer results in pregnancy, and the pregnancy itself can all affect the length of the journey.
For that reason, timelines should be viewed as estimates rather than guarantees.
For many intended parents, starting is the hardest part.
You may already have embryos, a fertility clinic, a detailed plan, and years of experience with fertility treatment. Or you may simply know that carrying a pregnancy is not possible for you and want to understand whether surrogacy could help you build your family.
Both are reasonable places to begin.
A good surrogacy agency should help you turn a process that initially feels complicated into a series of understandable decisions.
At Simple Surrogacy, our role is to help intended parents understand those decisions, prepare for each stage, coordinate the many professionals involved, and build a respectful relationship with the woman who will play such an important role in bringing their child into the world.
If you’re considering becoming an intended parent through surrogacy, schedule an intended-parent consultation with Simple Surrogacy. Bring your questions—even if you aren’t sure yet what all of those questions should be. That’s what the first conversation is for.
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