Choosing a surrogacy agency is one of the most important decisions a gestational carrier will make during her journey. Your agency is often the central point of contact throughout the process—helping coordinate screening, matching, communication, appointments, escrow, legal milestones, and the countless questions that can arise along the way.
Because of that, trust matters.
Surrogates deserve to know that when a difficult situation arises, the agency helping manage their journey does not have a separate professional obligation to advocate for the intended parents.
That is why prospective surrogates should carefully consider the potential conflicts that can arise when a surrogacy agency is owned or operated by the same attorney or law firm representing the intended parents.
A surrogacy agency should help facilitate a successful relationship between both the intended parents and the surrogate.
An attorney, however, has a fundamentally different role: the attorney represents the interests of their client.
Those two responsibilities can become difficult to reconcile when the same person or organization is attempting to perform both roles.
Even when everyone begins a journey with the best intentions, disagreements can happen. Contracts may need clarification. Intended parents may request something that was not originally discussed. A surrogate may have concerns about travel, medical appointments, communication, bed rest, childcare, lost wages, or another contractual issue.
When that happens, a surrogate should be able to approach her agency knowing the agency will help facilitate the situation fairly—not wondering whether the person advising her is also legally obligated to represent the intended parents on the other side of the issue.
One potential problem can arise during contract negotiations.
Every surrogate should have her own independent attorney during the legal-contract process. That attorney represents the surrogate, while the intended parents have separate counsel representing them.
But negotiations do not always happen in a vacuum.
If your agency is also connected to the attorney representing the intended parents, you may feel pressure—directly or indirectly—to accept a contractual change because you are told it will help keep the journey moving forward.
You might hear that a request is “standard,” that the intended parents are uncomfortable with a provision, or that agreeing to a change would simply make things easier.
A surrogate should never feel that keeping her agency happy requires her to give up a contractual protection, benefit, or compensation item that she and her attorney believe is reasonable.
Your contract belongs to you and the intended parents, and both sides should have independent legal representation during negotiations.
The bigger concern can come after contracts are signed.
Imagine that you and your intended parents disagree about something during the pregnancy.
Perhaps there is disagreement about travel.
Maybe there is a question about lost wages or childcare reimbursement.
Maybe your physician makes a recommendation that changes the plans everyone originally anticipated.
Perhaps the intended parents are requesting something you believe goes beyond what you agreed to in your contract.
At that moment, you need to know who your agency represents.
If the agency owner is also the intended parents’ attorney, the intended parents already have a legal advocate involved in the situation.
Where does that leave you?
Even if the agency attempts to remain helpful and professional, the structure itself can create an uncomfortable question for the surrogate:
Is my agency helping both of us resolve this problem, or is my agency ultimately advocating for the intended parents?
A surrogate should not have to wonder.
Most intended parents and surrogates build wonderful relationships based on communication and mutual respect.
But the intended parents’ wishes and the surrogate’s contractual obligations are not necessarily the same thing.
Intended parents may have preferences regarding diet, exercise, travel, vaccinations, medical appointments, communication, delivery, visitors, or many other aspects of the pregnancy.
Some of those expectations may be addressed in the surrogacy agreement. Others may simply be preferences.
A surrogate should absolutely honor the commitments she makes in her contract.
But she should not feel pressured by her agency to comply with every request simply because it is what the intended parents want.
An agency should be able to distinguish between:
“This is something you agreed to in your contract”
and
“This is something the intended parents would prefer.”
Those are not always the same thing.
There is another practical imbalance that surrogates should consider.
During the initial contract process, the surrogate typically has her own independent attorney, whose fees are generally paid according to the parties’ agreement.
But after the contract is completed, what happens if a significant issue arises months later?
If the intended parents’ attorney is also operating the agency, the intended parents may effectively have their attorney immediately available whenever a question or dispute arises.
The surrogate may need to contact her original attorney again—and depending on the circumstances and the agreement, additional legal consultation may involve additional fees or arrangements that must be addressed.
That can create a significant imbalance.
One side may have legal counsel built directly into the organization managing the journey, while the other side may need to independently re-engage counsel before receiving comparable legal advice.
That is not a position we believe surrogates should unknowingly put themselves in.
Surrogacy works best when every professional involved understands their role.
The intended parents should have an attorney whose job is to represent the intended parents.
The surrogate should have an independent attorney whose job is to represent the surrogate.
And the agency should be able to support the journey without having a legal duty to advocate for one party against the other.
At Simple Surrogacy, that distinction matters deeply to us.
Simple Surrogacy was founded by women, including women with personal experience as surrogates.
We understand that surrogacy can be incredibly rewarding.
We also understand the sacrifices involved.
Pregnancy requires time, energy, medical appointments, schedule changes, physical discomfort, emotional commitment, and the involvement and support of a surrogate’s entire family.
Surrogates deserve to be respected for that commitment.
They deserve to be paid fairly.
They deserve to have their time valued.
And they deserve an agency that understands that advocating for a healthy surrogacy journey does not mean automatically taking one side whenever a disagreement occurs.
Being neutral does not mean that an agency should tell surrogates they can ignore their contracts.
We expect our surrogates to honor the commitments they have made.
Likewise, we do not believe intended parents should ever be misled, treated unfairly, or taken advantage of.
Intended parents place enormous emotional, financial, and personal trust in the surrogacy process. They deserve professionalism, transparency, and support too.
That is exactly why neutrality matters.
Our role is not to automatically declare that the surrogate is right.
Our role is not to automatically declare that the intended parents are right.
Our role is to help everyone navigate the journey appropriately while respecting the agreement the parties entered into and the separate professionals representing them.
When a true contractual or legal dispute arises, Simple Surrogacy does not try to become either party’s lawyer.
We encourage the parties to consult their respective independent attorneys, and we work with those attorneys as appropriate to help facilitate communication and resolution.
That protects the surrogate.
It protects the intended parents.
And it protects the integrity of the entire journey.
When interviewing surrogacy agencies, surrogates understandably ask about compensation, matching times, insurance, medical screening, travel, and support.
There is another question you should add to your list:
“Does anyone who owns or operates this agency also represent the intended parents as their attorney?”
If the answer is yes, ask more questions.
Who represents you if there is a disagreement?
Who does the agency owe a professional duty to?
What happens if the intended parents want something that you believe is outside your contract?
Who explains your rights to you?
Will you need to hire or re-engage another attorney if an issue arises?
And most importantly:
When you call your agency for help, can you be confident that you are speaking to a neutral agency—or are you speaking to the other party’s lawyer?
Those are questions worth asking before you commit to an agency.
A successful surrogacy journey should never be about the intended parents versus the surrogate.
Everyone should be working toward the same goal: a healthy pregnancy, a healthy baby, informed intended parents, a respected surrogate, and a journey everyone can look back on positively.
At Simple Surrogacy, we believe both sides deserve independent legal representation and an agency that can remain a neutral facilitator between them.
We want intended parents protected.
We want surrogates protected.
We want contracts honored.
We want surrogates fairly compensated and valued for their time and commitment.
And when challenges arise, we want each party to have their own attorney advocating for their legal interests—not an agency whose loyalties may already be divided.
Before choosing your surrogacy agency, look beyond compensation and matching. Look carefully at who owns the agency, who represents the intended parents, and where the agency’s loyalties will lie if something goes wrong.
Your surrogacy journey is too important not to ask.
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