Bringing a life into the world for another family requires a deep relationship between the Intended Parents and the Surrogate. There are so many forms to fill out and exams to take at the onset of the surrogacy process that thoughts about actually picking your counterpart in this journey may fall to the wayside while you prepare everything. Luckily, when you’re with an agency they take care of the complicated process of determining which surrogates or Intended Parents are right for you, and help you get in contact with them.
What is Matching?
The process of meeting and choosing the family or surrogate that you will work with is called Matching in the surrogacy industry. There are many routes you can go when matching, including looking for an independent surrogate and bringing them into the agency.
The matching process begins with the Intended Parent profile. After carefully removing all identifying information about the couple from the profile, it is sent out to potential surrogates. This profile will only be sent to surrogates who match with the Intended Parents requirements such as state of residence, willingness to reduce or terminate, experience, preferences on contact during and after pregnancy, and employment status. Differences in these matters will make or break a match, so the agency makes sure that only surrogates and intended parents who agree will have the opportunity to meet.
The surrogate will then review the profile, and speak with the agency about whether this is a potential match. If she thinks so, then the agency will set up a meeting so that the intended parents and surrogate can see how they feel about each other. This is usually kept casual, like a lunch or a dinner so that the two parties can get to know each other better.
Finally, agency representatives for both parties will talk to them about how the meeting went. If both parties agree it’s a match, the surrogacy proceeds! Medical and legal meetings will be scheduled and the process is underway.
Matching for Intended Parents
Finding a surrogate is a tricky process. You need to find someone you trust enough to carry your child and also work with them so that they can be comfortable throughout the journey. The process here mostly works around your profile. Make sure that you do not avoid specificity with your requirements so that there are no misconceptions during the matching process. If you need something specific to feel comfortable you should say so right from the beginning.
If you feel that you’re having a hard time finding a surrogate that matches your ideals, you can also look independently. There are many match groups on the internet where you can post about yourselves and your journey and see if an independent GC wants to join you.
A warning with this course of action: Simple Surrogacy has been trained throughout years of experience to make smart, comfortable matches for their Intended Parents and surrogates. This is one of the services we provide to you! You may not want to search for a surrogate on your own.
Matching for Surrogates
As a surrogate, maintaining your way of life is going to be key to enjoying your surrogacy journey. When matching, you should consider what you’re truly looking for in the process. One of the most important steps for you will be the face-to-face meeting with the Intended Parents. It may seem similar to a first date, where you try hard to get to know someone in a short period of time. There are many things you can ask to get a feel for how your surrogacy journey will go.
During the matching process, don’t say yes just to be nice! You are giving the gift of love to someone, which they will appreciate forever but that is no reason to settle for intended parents you don’t vibe with.
Going with an agency can act as a buffer between you and intended parents, keeping you out of the loop from many couples who do not share the same values as you regarding your pregnancy. When you work with our agency, you will not meet parents whose requirements do not match your own, so you have a better chance of making a good match. You are also welcome to pursue independent intended parents and bring them to the agency, but without the agency involved you may be contacted by many couples who may not share your preferences for the pregnancy so we recommend staying inside the agency.
Be honest with your agency representative, and if you’re on the fence they may be able to help you make a decision one way or the other. Everyone on the staff has intimate experience with surrogacy and egg donation, so their advice is uniquely knowledgeable from not only an agency side but a surrogate side as well.
How Do I Know It’s A Match?
Like many things in life, when you know you know! You should feel sure about your choice and excited for the journey ahead. Keep your strong preferences in mind and really listen to the other party. Take notes if you feel like you need to!
Matching can be a long process, or it can be short. The usual time period for matching with a surrogate or Intended Parents is 6-12 months, though it could be longer or shorter depending on what’s going on in the world. It’s more important for you to be sure of who you’re paired with than to get the process started quickly, as that surrogate will be a major part of your life, and may even help you bring a second or third child into your family.
After you are matched with a couple or surrogate, the surrogacy journey begins in earnest. Doctor’s appointments will be scheduled, preparations for implantation, and more are just around the corner, and you officially have someone to go through it with. If you’re sure about your match, this could be a lifelong friendship in the making.
If you’d like more information about matching or becoming involved in a surrogacy journey, please reach out here.
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