Alternative family planning comes in many forms, and has positively impacted the lives of countless would-be parents having trouble conceiving via traditional methods. However, it can still feel like a sensitive, or even taboo, subject. Many of our Intended Parents tend to have questions surrounding how transparent they ought to be with the world about their journey. The good news is, we can help.
First things first: it is important that you understand that you do not owe anyone this kind of information. Just like with adoption, children conceived through an Egg Donor and/or Surrogate are just as legitimate as children conceived traditionally, and anyone suggesting otherwise is coming from a place of personal misconception rather than accuracy. You should not feel any more obligated to share this information with people outside of your circle of trust than you would any other piece of personal information. It is entirely up to you.
However, there may be cases where you want to divulge the information to a friend or relative, which is of course your prerogative. Because of how misunderstood egg donation can be, it can feel like the elephant in the room – especially if the person you are considering telling is aware that you are having fertility struggles in the first place. Here are some guidelines for how to go about telling your loved ones about your journey with alternative family planning:
For An Adult Who Is A Loved One
When you are deciding how to tell your loved ones and those closest to you about your egg donation, it can feel like a make-or-break moment. How they respond will likely impact your relationship moving forward, and there is always the chance that they will react badly to your news. This can make the idea of disclosing seem very, very scary. The key here is to remember that no matter what kind of reactions you receive, at the end of the day this is not up to anyone else. Additionally, your loved ones will in all likelihood just be happy for you, even if they don’t completely understand the road that you are about to embark upon.
One tactic that we have found to be very helpful for both Egg Donors and Intended Parents is to prepare a list of answers to questions you are likely to receive. Even the most well-intentioned people in the world tend to be very curious when they hear about egg donation or surrogacy, and sometimes their questions aren’t necessarily worded very delicately. And while you are certainly under no obligation to be a walking, talking advocate or spokesperson for the fertility world, we have found that the more people are willing to talk openly about the subject from a place of personal experience, the faster the myths and misconceptions surrounding this world get dispelled.
For An Adult You Are Not As Close To
There are several reasons you may wish to disclose your situation to someone who you are not necessarily close to, so you will want to adapt your approach to the reason you are disclosing. As a general rule, our best recommendation here is to only disclose as much as you are comfortable disclosing, and not a word more. Remember, it is your family’s business, and your family’s business alone. All anyone “needs” to know is that you are having a child.
How you should approach telling a child in your life about your Egg Donor depends on the nature of your relationship with the child. If the child is your own, then a more in-depth explanation may be warranted than with a sibling’s child, for example. Communication is key, and as with any new sibling, your child will likely have complex emotions regarding the new arrival. The more included your child feels in the process, the more comfortable they are likely to be. As an added bonus, there are many children’s books written on the subject that can be excellent tools for introducing your child (or any child) to the concept of egg donation or surrogacy.
When you choose to conceive with an Egg Donor through Simple Surrogacy, you are not just expanding your own family through your child-to-be: you are joining ours. The experienced team here is filled with former Egg Donors, Surrogates or Intended Parents themselves, and as a result we are uniquely well-suited to take care of all of you alike, simply because we’ve been there ourselves. That includes navigating the trickier parts of the experience, so if you are ever unsure or need guidance, our team is ready and waiting to see how we can be of assistance to you.
If you are interested in exploring alternative family planning, or are interested in your own potential future by donating eggs, please call (866) 473-0513 or contact Simple Surrogacy online today. We would be delighted to hear from you and assist you in beginning your journey!
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