Surrogacy For Gay Couples: Choosing an Egg Donor

You’ve made the big decision and you’re excited to begin the journey of surrogacy so you can become parents to a wonderful baby boy or girl. But before the journey starts, you’ll need to choose an egg donor. Egg donation for gay couples can be extremely emotional. At first glance the matching process can seem daunting, with so many questions to think about in your search for just the right donor. 

The surrogacy agency you’re working with will be there to support you through the process, but here are the top criteria to consider when it comes to surrogacy for gay couples and choosing the right egg donor:

Known, Anonymous, or Open Egg Donor

You’ll first need to decide if you want to use an egg donor you know, someone who is anonymous, or a donor who is open to a small exchange of information with you. Your decision will affect not just you and the egg donor, it will also have a significant impact on your child if they want information about their conception when they reach legal age. 

Known donor

A known egg donor is someone you’re acquainted with, such as a family member, a close friend, or a co-worker. They can also be someone that an Agency matches you with, when all parties agree to know each other. They understand your story and desire to become parents and are willing to go through the process of donating. The advantages of using a known donor are:

• Having detailed information about the egg donor and their background.
• Sharing an emotional connection, particularly if the donor is a family member or close family friend.
• Your child will have information about the donor and their biological heritage.
• The donor and your child can have a relationship and maintain contact.

Anonymous donor

As gay intended parents, you may choose to use an anonymous donor. This egg donor arrangement is the most common, where there is no contact or exchange of information between the intended parents or the egg donor.

The information available to you will be complete enough for you to decide, including physical appearance of the donor, genetic background, family background, age, and education and childhood and adult photographs. How you choose an egg donor is personal to you and will be based on your own feelings and criteria of importance.

Open donor

If you choose an open donor, you’ll share information with each other, such as names and the cities where you live. This type of egg donor arrangement allows for the possibility of future contact if everyone is in consent. Using an open donor can be beneficial for your child, who may have questions when they’re older about their biological background. With open egg donation you, your child, and the donor have the opportunity for contact in the future.

Choosing Your Egg Donor

Don’t rush the process of narrowing down your choice. Carefully list the criteria you’re looking for in an egg donor – what’s important to you? If you’re working with a surrogacy agency, egg donors will have been screened for you to meet specific qualifications, such as age, medical history, and lifestyle. Some other things to consider when selecting the right donor include:

• Physical appearance – hair and eye color
• Medical health
• Ethnicity
• Educational background
• Athletic ability
• Interests
• Personality

Egg donation is the first step in the amazing journey of surrogacy for gay couples. Take the time to understand the process and make decisions that are right for the two of you.