How Can I Relieve Stress During the Surrogacy Process

Whether you’re a surrogate or intended parents, going through the surrogacy process can be an anxious time. There are many moving parts, confusing terms, and legal forms, all of which can be overwhelming for people navigating surrogacy for the first time. Although we’re doing our best to keep things simple, it can still be stressful sometimes. Let’s look at a few ways to relieve stress while going through the surrogate process. 

Get Some Outside Perspective

Relieving stress isn’t something you have to work on alone. Talking to someone about your anxieties can be difficult, but often is the first step toward healing them. Maybe you struggled with infertility, and feel embarrassed or ashamed about surrogacy. Struggling with anxiety through this process is normal, but internalizing it or keeping it from your family or friends can become unhealthy. A great place to start tackling your anxiety is through flexible online therapy. Therapy can be an option for both surrogates and parents, as options like talk therapy or cognitive behavioral therapy are done without medications that can interfere with pregnancy. 

Support groups can be another option, so you can talk to people going through similar experiences as you. There are many Facebook groups and support groups for surrogates, and even if you haven’t welcomed your child into the world yet, there are many groups for moms to talk about their experiences and any worries they might face. They can be a great resource for you to feel heard while learning and hearing from others. 

Try Some Yoga

As a surrogate, prenatal yoga can lower the risk of pregnancy complications, which could lower your stress levels on its own! However, the benefits of yoga aren’t limited to your pregnancy. Yoga is great for stress relief and is an easy way to get exercise while pregnant. 

Alternatively, taking yoga classes can be a great way to build community. Classes with other expectant mothers can act as a support group, and can even lead to lifelong friendships. If there’s a strong relationship between the intended parents and surrogates, it could be an activity you all do together. 

Practice Meditation

Meditation is a great way to relieve stress at any time of life, especially when pregnant or expecting through a surrogate. With apps teaching guided meditation, you don’t need to seek out the teaching on a high, secluded mountain. There are a number of types of mediation that can be helpful while pregnant. Practicing mindfulness can help you to be more present in your surroundings, and is known to help relieve stress. Body scanning is often done in conjunction with mindful meditation and can help you be more attuned to your body and your emotions. This can be especially helpful while sharing your body with a little one!

Meditation can also be very relaxing for intended parents, and anyone. Moreover, if you establish a meditation habit before children are running around, it can be much easier to maintain. 

Journal Your Thoughts

Journaling is a great way to relieve stress. As a surrogate, it can be helpful to keep a journal to track your pregnancy day-to-day, and as a parent, it can be valuable to have your thoughts and memories from this time written down. It can be a fun keepsake to look over later in life when your child has grown up! There are many benefits of journaling. While you’re going through the surrogacy process, stress relief is one of the most important factors. 

Sometimes it can be difficult to get started journaling, and you’ll need some prompts. Take a look at some of the ones below to see if they can get you started in your stress relief journey:

• What is one fun thing you can do today? (Or tomorrow, if journaling at night)
• What are 2 things you appreciate about your body? 
• List 3 things you’re thankful for.

These are just a few ideas—you can journal however you want! There’s no length requirement, although you’ll probably want to set aside at least 10 minutes a day. That way you can spend enough time focusing and reflecting. 

Going Forward

While the surrogacy process can be stressful, there are certain things you can try to help manage those stressors. Through perspective, yoga, meditation, and journaling, you should be equipped to manage whatever anxieties are thrown at you, no matter what side of the process you’re on.