Questions to Ask Your Intended Parents
So you’ve signed up to be a surrogate, been approved, and are now matching with intended parents! Fantastic, the process has begun. But you’re experiencing a new problem: what do you ask them?
With Simple Surrogacy, we make sure our surrogates have their pick of intended parents so that they can be happy throughout the journey. In the interest of finding the right match for you and your lifestyle, here are some questions you may find illuminating.
First Date Questions
Questions like “What do you do for a living” and “what are your hobbies” are commonly asked on first dates. It’s a great way to get an impression of their lives! A Surrogate is starting a relationship with their intended parents, so thinking along that vein doesn’t hurt. Try asking your couple how they met and what their values are as well. It will open up the conversation to find common bonds between you.
You want to make sure you commit to a couple that you see eye to eye with on many levels, and finding out who they are aside from a growing family is a great place to start.
It’s tough to navigate this tricky subject, as intended parents tend to be struggling with infertility or have been looking for a surrogate for a long time. Understanding their journey will help you know how best to keep them informed and what they expect from you. Try not to press topics if they seem particularly sensitive; you want your meeting to be stress-free.
In addition to asking them about their journey and how they concluded to go with a gestational surrogate, try asking what they’re the most excited for! Intended parents have an idea of what their surrogacy journey will look like, and identifying what they’re most excited about will help you understand them on a deeper level.
Ask About Boundaries
You will know what kind of boundaries you want to keep between the intended parents and yourself. Make sure to ask about how they expect communication to go and what frequency they would like. Do they want to go to your doctor’s appointments? Would they like to remain in contact after the birth? If you don’t align in this area, it’s likely to be a mismatch.
You’re about to bring a child into the world for this family– you should probably know what they expect when it comes to your doctor’s appointments. Some Intended Parents want to attend all the appointments about the pregnancy. Some even want to be in the room when you give birth! Hammer out the details of this part of the arrangement early.
It’s also worth asking about their plans with surrogacy. Some intended parents are interested in having twins or a sibling story. Often this can mean that they would like to work with the same surrogate for every sibling.
Hopefully, you feel more prepared for your first meeting with intended Parents now.
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