Surrogacy – When to Tell Your Employer

Once you’ve made the decision to become a surrogate there are many people in your life you’ll need to tell – family, friends, acquaintances. And then there’s your employer. In some ways, telling your boss about your surrogacy can be the hardest conversation of all.
Depending on your job, it can be difficult enough to announce your own pregnancy at work. There are medical appointments to schedule, sick days when morning sickness hits, and then there’s the conversation about maternity leave. All of these issues become a little more complicated when you tell your employer that you’re going to be carrying a baby for another family. How much information do you share at what stage of your surrogacy?

Sharing the news before you’re pregnant

You can choose to share the news early in the surrogacy process if you have a good working relationship with your employer. This gives them the opportunity to know what to expect and plan for maternity leave. You can be open about the time you’ll need to take off work for appointments, such as for the embryo transfer and follow up appointments. You may find that telling your employer early about your surrogacy lets you be honest about the time you need to take off work and about what they can expect in the coming months.

Waiting to share the news until pregnancy is confirmed

You may feel more comfortable telling your employer about your surrogacy when you have a confirmed pregnancy. Waiting to share the news lets you keep your personal life private until it becomes necessary to let your boss know. It also takes into consideration failed embryo transfers and early miscarriage. You may not want to share this information with your employer, particularly if you feel they won’t be understanding of approving any time you’ll be missing work.

Telling your employer what they need to know

How much you want to share about your surrogacy is up to you. You may want to keep much of the surrogacy process private. There are some things you’ll need your employer to know so be sure to schedule time for a meeting to discuss your pregnancy. Be prepared to talk about maternity leave so your workplace can plan accordingly – do you plan on taking time off after the birth or are you planning to return to work right way.

What to tell your coworkers

It’s inevitable that your coworkers will learn about your pregnancy. What you choose to tell them about being a surrogate is up to you. Be prepared for both positive and negative responses from your coworkers. Surrogacy is still a relatively new concept and your employer and coworkers may have a lot of questions for you.
As you plan for your surrogacy, consider how you’re going to deal with the reactions and questions from your employer and coworkers. Will you openly talk about your surrogacy? Or will you keep your surrogacy privacy, telling them that there’s information that you’re unable to disclose to them.
Regardless of when you tell your employer, they’ll need to know about your pregnancy at some point. Decide when the time is right for you. After all, this is your surrogacy journey! Enjoy every moment of it!