Intended Parents: How To Bond With Your Baby

Surrogacy allows couples and individuals who cannot have children of their own to start or grow their family. The surrogacy process is becoming more and more common, which means it is more important than ever to discuss the bonding process between baby the Intended Parent(s). The bonding process between Intended Parents and children born through surrogacy may be a new and different process, but is still just as special and meaningful. Keep reading to learn different ways that Intended Parent(s) can bond with their baby.

Acknowledge your Losses

Many Intended Parents choose to use surrogacy as their path for having a child after years of struggling with infertility. This is not an easy decision to make as many people had a plan that did not work out the way they envisioned. It is important to acknowledge your losses, grieve them, and heal before beginning the process. Accepting and moving past this grief will allow you to focus on your child and embrace and enjoy the surrogacy process while bonding with your child. 

Being Involved in the Pregnancy Process

Many Intended Parents worry that they won’t be able to be involved in the pregnancy process since they are not carrying the child, but this is not the case. When beginning the surrogacy process, you will meet with an experienced Simple Surrogacy coordinator who will take note of all of the things you would like to experience during your process. This list will be used to match you with a Surrogate who has similar values. Many Surrogates want their Intended Parents to be involved in the process as much as possible, as they are going on this journey for you to be able to experience the gift of having a child.

Talking with the Baby

Another big part of bonding with a baby is allowing them to become familiar with your voice. Many of our Intended Parent(s) use the time at appointments and at dinners with their Surrogate to talk, or even sing, to their baby. Since the Surrogate will not be with the Intended Parents 24/7, many of our Intended Parents send audio recordings for the Surrogate to play, speak with their Surrogate while on speaker phone, and even schedule Zoom get togethers. There are several ways to establish a bond and ensure your baby is familiar with your voice prior to them arriving.

Skin-to-Skin Contact

Another important way to bond with your baby is to have skin-to-skin contact after they are born. Many of our Intended Parent(s) list one of their requirements as being in the delivery room with their Surrogate. This way, they are able to hold the baby after birth and begin the physical bonding right away. Many agreements allow the Surrogate to hold the baby first and then gently pass the child to the Intended Parents, but this decision will be made before the process even begins. In order to continue the bonding process, it is important to continue providing your child with skin-to-skin contact when you arrive home. This can be during feeding, burping, bathing, and even just when relaxing.

Setting up the Nursery

Even though the baby is not physically with you during the entire process, it is important to set up your home for when they arrive. Although this may seem materialistic, choosing cribs, changing tables, and colors for your new baby’s room is a great way to bond with them and embrace the process. You can also take this time to baby proof your house and prepare for this exciting next chapter in your life!

Picking Out Names

Another great way to bond with your baby is to begin picking out names. The name selection process can be a great way to connect and bond with your child before they arrive – as well as your partner! Once a name (or two) have been selected, you can begin referring to your child by their name which will provide comfort as well as familiarity when they arrive!

Lean on your Support System

Another important way to bond with your baby is to lean on your support system! Being an Intended Parent can be challenging, so it is important to have their support. Your friends and family will be able to provide you with ideas, comfort, and provide valuable life experiences that will help you develop a strong bond with your child. Discussing your child with friends and family before they are born will also provide you with more to be excited about! 

Stay in Contact with the Surrogate

Another great way to assist both you and your child in bonding is to stay in touch with your Surrogate. Since the process is so intimate, many surrogacy arrangements end with the Intended Parents and the Surrogate maintaining a relationship and staying close with one another. This will help with bonding with your baby as the Surrogate who carried your child is involved in your life and their life.

If you’re considering using surrogacy to start or grow your family, contact the team at Simple Surrogacy today. Our agency is filled with past Surrogates and Egg Donors who will be able to provide you with sincere, first-hand experience on the process. Our coordinators are also available 24/7 to assist with and questions, comments, or concerns that arise. When you choose to work with Simple Surrogacy, we will make sure your journey is as stress-free and simple as possible! Contact us online or call us at 1-866-41-SURRO today!