SIX MYTHS ABOUT SURROGACY, DEBUNKED

📸credit: Scary Mommy

Whether you are considering becoming a surrogate or if you are considering seeking a surrogate, there are a plethora of questions going through your mind about the decision.  This could be based on skepticism, fear of the unknown or myths and rumors you’ve heard floating around.  At Simple Surrogacy, it is our greatest wish to put all concerns, suspicion and fear to rest to recreate an environment of comfort and certainty for our clients.  As such, we have put together a variety of urban legends and myths you may have heard about surrogacy, in an effort to dispel them and reveal the truth.

 Myth: Surrogates are only in it for the money, as it is an easy way to earn extra cash.

Truth: While surrogate mother compensation can be expensive, women enter the surrogacy world for far more than the compensation.  Gestational Surrogacy compensation takes into consideration expenses, time and health risks as the process takes effort and dedication. Surrogate mothers tend to be warm and compassionate women, as they know they are giving the greatest gift of life to help start a new family.  One of the main motivators for being a Surrogate is seeing the joy in Intended Parents’ eyes when they see their baby on the ultrasound screen for the first time.  Surrogacy is sharing the joy when parents feel their baby kick for the first time.  A main reward for Surrogates is seeing Parents hold their baby for the first time, as tears of ultimate gratitude fall from their cheeks.  Surrogacy is priceless and while the compensation helps with the work that it actually is, Surrogates enter into the process as it is far more than a job, it is a calling.

Myth: A surrogate shares the same DNA as the baby.

Truth: In terms of traditional surrogacy, the answer is yes. Traditional surrogacy uses the surrogate mother’s egg, and inseminates the surrogate with the intended father’s sperm. Traditional surrogacy, while still practiced, is very nearly extinct nowadays. Today’s Gestational Surrogates have no biological ties with the baby.  In gestational surrogacy, the embryo is created via in vitro fertilization (IVF), where the eggs and sperm of the intended parents or donors, are used and then transferred to the surrogate, hence the popular hashtag, #TheirBunMyOven

Myth: Any woman can be a surrogate.

Truth: Not every woman can be a surrogate. For one, a woman must have already experienced a full-term pregnancy and delivery and be caring for their own child. It must be known how their bodies respond to the demands of a pregnancy. Women who become Surrogates also have a true desire to help others fulfill their dreams of becoming parents.  Surrogates should also be in a stable marital situation and not be thinking of moving states during the surrogacy. They also need to be able to pass a background check and psychological evaluation. Visit our surrogate qualifications page to understand in more detail the varying attributes a woman should have to become a surrogate.

Myth: Surrogacy Is only for The Rich and Famous

Truth: Of course, the main surrogacy stories we are exposed to are those of celebrities, and as a result we tend to think surrogacy is out of our league because only those who are making upwards of six figures can afford it. While the cost of a surrogacy journey can be pricey, the truth is, people from all types of socioeconomic backgrounds seek the assistance of surrogacy agencies.  With a clear plan and intent, intending parents put money aside to save towards creating their dream family. Simple Surrogacy remains dedicated to helping all people to become parents through Surrogacy and Egg Donation.  We work with many fertility financing companies and support reimbursement by Insurance companies and companies who offer surrogacy reimbursement. Many people plan for a baby and the associated expenses in the same way they plan to buy a house and finance it over time.

Myth: It’s difficult to ‘give the baby up’.

Truth: “Isn’t it hard to give the baby up to someone else after carrying it for so long?”  this is one of the most commonly asked questions about surrogacy.  Surrogate mothers embark on this journey often times knowing their personal family is complete, and they are in a space where they are ready to help another family expand their dreams.  There may also be a concern on the surrogate’s behalf that what happens if the intended parents change their mind?  Luckily for both parties, everyone signs a legally binding contract before the transfer that protects everyone.  Prior to matching, the surrogate is given an in-depth psychological screening and their partner to determine if they can emotionally and psychologically manage the process, ultimately, understanding the baby is not theirs.

Myth: The IP(s) will request unreasonable diets and make absurd demands on a surrogate’s day-to-day living.

Truth: Every plan between surrogate mothers and intended parents are different.  Yes, intended parents may have a series of varying requests of a surrogate, some may be more involved,  such as what they eat, activities they wish the surrogate to refrain from and more.  However, the key here is that it is a ‘request’.  At Simple Surrogacy, one of our goals is to ensure we create the perfect match between intended parents and surrogate mothers.  If you want IP’s that are very involved or less involved, we will find the perfect fit for everyone! Surrogate mothers can rest assured they will not be forced to do anything they are not comfortable with. Visit our match process to learn more about how we ensure a match made in heaven!