Becoming a Surrogate Mother: What You Need to Know

The wonders of science and medicine have made it possible for couples and singles to become parents using a surrogate. Being a surrogate for intended parents is one of the greatest gifts you can give. As a parent yourself, you know the joy and delight that children have brought into your own life.

Not being able to have children can be devastating for many couples. Being denied the experience of being parents can negatively impact all areas of their lives. With surrogacy and the right surrogate, parenthood becomes a real possibility.

Before you enter into the process of becoming a surrogate, there are some important things you should know.

Requirements for Becoming a Surrogate 

If you’re thinking about being a surrogate for intended parents, you’ll need to meet certain qualifications. There are specific factors that surrogate agencies look for in their surrogate mothers:

  • Age requirement of between 21 and 40.
  • Be in a stable living situation.
  • Be financially stable and not on financial aid.
  • Have a healthy BMI for your height-weight ratio.
  • Have a history of healthy pregnancies.
  • Be a non-smoker.
  • Not be taking any illegal drugs.

If you meet all these requirements, the next step is to contact a Simple Surrogacy, where you can find out more about the process of becoming a surrogate mother.

The Emotional Side of Being a Surrogate

There’s more to becoming a surrogate mother than just meeting all the requirements and having a deep desire to help others become parents. There’s the emotional side to consider as well. When you’re pregnant your body will be going through many physical changes. Going through IVF. Morning sickness. Weight gain. Hormone changes. All of these are natural and expected during any pregnancy.

But you’ll also experience psychological changes and may feel a variety of different emotions during the pregnancy. Like any mother, you’ll bond with the baby you’re carrying. As a surrogate mother, you’ll need to be able to understand these emotions, knowing that after delivery, you’ll be placing baby into the care and love of the intended parents. You’ll need to be mentally prepared for this moment. It’ll be what you’ve been waiting for, to give the ultimate gift of love and give them back their baby!

Surrogacy agencies are there to give you the guidance and support you need throughout the surrogacy process and through to delivery. Before becoming a surrogate mother, you’ll talk with a professional about everything that’s involved with surrogacy, including the emotions you’ll be going through. The more psychologically prepared you are, the easier your pregnancy will be for you, your own family, and the intended parents.

It’s not just the support of the intended parents and the surrogacy agency that you’ll need. You’ll also need the support of your own family. They’re the ones that will be there when you’re tired and not feeling well. Or when you’re feeling dazed by the experience you’re going through. Before committing to becoming a surrogate mother be sure that you have the full support of your partner.

The Effects of Surrogacy on Your Own Partner 

Making the decision to become a surrogate mother affects your partner. They should be part of the decision to be a surrogate so you’re both in agreement.

As you go through IVF and during the pregnancy, your significant other will be experiencing some feelings and emotions of their own. For instance, it may be difficult at times for your partner to watch you going through the pregnancy, feeling left out and not part of the process at all.

Keep the lines of communication open at all times. And keep your partner as involved as possible. Even though this isn’t your baby, encourage them to come to all appointments with you and to meet the intended parents.

Every couple goes through different emotions during surrogacy. Remind your partner often why you became a surrogate mother and that this time is only temporary. It won’t be long until the baby is born, and your own lives return to normal.

Don’t hesitate to speak to a family counselor so your partner has the opportunity to talk openly about what they’re going through.

Explaining Surrogacy to Your Children

Getting support from the surrogacy agency, counselors, and from other surrogate mothers can be helpful for your entire family as you work through the emotions that come with surrogacy. Talking to your children is crucial throughout the process, letting them know at all times that they are loved and not going to be replaced.

Younger children often have an easier time with surrogacy than older children. They’re often quicker to accept the explanation that after delivery, baby is going to a loving home so that other parents have a child to love. Older children may require a bit more feedback and you may need to talk to them in more depth about the surrogacy process and what it means.

Keep your children involved in the entire surrogacy process. Many surrogate mothers have their children meet with the intended parents. This allows her children to have a clear understanding of where the baby will go after birth – to a loving home to people who are excited and overjoyed to be starting their own journey of being parents.

Discuss ahead of time if, after birth, your own children will have any type of relationship with the baby you gave birth to. Some surrogates and intended parents maintain a friendship and bond after baby arrives.

Be Prepared to Change Your Life

Becoming a surrogate mother is a life-changing experience not just for you, but for another family. Your decision to be a surrogate will change the lives of others. The amazement and joy of a new baby is a wonderful feeling and being able to give others the chance to be parents is empowering and fulfilling.

You’ll form strong bonds with the intended parents from this rewarding experience. And you’ll learn a lot about yourself through the journey.

Surrogacy is a wonderful experience and alternative for couples who want to become parents but are unable to carry a child themselves. As a surrogate, you’re giving intended parents a gift that will change their lives forever.

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