Giving the gift of love to someone through gestational surrogacy is a beautiful thing, but telling your own children about your decision can be somewhat daunting. What if the concept of surrogacy confuses them? Luckily, children are really receptive to this concept. Depending on your child’s age, here are some routes you can take:
It can be hard for a child to conceptualize having a baby before they can see it themselves. Bringing this to your child’s attention once they can see a bump may help them understand exactly what’s going on.
Instead of introducing surrogacy itself as an option, try letting your child know that you’re “babysitting” for another family until the baby is ready to come. This way, your child can understand what you’re doing in terms they already understand. Make sure that your child understands that you are not having a sibling for them, but rather helping another family have their baby.
Surrogacy is an exciting process and your child will absorb your emotions about it. If you show them how happy you are to be giving this family the chance to grow, your child is sure to follow suit.
As we all know, kids ask a lot of questions! Be prepared to answer any concerns they may have about the process. If you set up open communication about the surrogacy in the early stages of telling your child, there will be easier communication down the line. Make sure they know you will need to spend more time at the doctor and with the intended parents so that they are prepared for this shift in their lifestyle ahead of time.
The best way to keep your child excited and interested in your surrogacy is by getting them involved in the process. Give them the tools they need to speak with others about the journey you’re on. Trusting your child to know enough to explain surrogacy to others will help them feel more trusted by you. Likewise, let them interact with the baby during the process. If they would like to help you during this time, it should be welcomed.
There are a fair amount of children’s books on the topic of surrogacy that can help bridge the gap in understanding for your child. Take a look at some titles and try to read through them with your child.
Giving the gift of love can be something that you and your child can share pride in during your surrogacy.
Go backThis article continues our series on informational articles about surrogacy. After a successful pregnancy is achieved, the surrogate is released to her regular OB/GYN and fertility medications are discontinued gradually. The first ultrasound usually happens between 6-8 weeks, and that…
Lern more →The Texas Surrogacy Case: How Careful Matching Could Have Prevented a Heartbreaking Conflict The surrogacy case currently unfolding in Texas is heartbreaking for everyone involved: the intended parents, the surrogate, and most importantly, the baby at the center of it.…
Lern more →The recent New York Magazine/The Cut article, “Whose Babies Are These?”, is difficult reading for anyone who works in ethical surrogacy. It tells the story of a surrogacy journey that spiraled into delayed parentage, immigration problems, financial distress, a custody…
Lern more →
