Surrogacy 101: Deciding Your Terms as a Surrogate
When becoming a surrogate, you need to determine what terms you want your contract to include. This will help you establish boundaries about what you are and are not okay with during the pregnancy. Your terms can set the tone for your medical care during your journey, and the tone of your social relationship with the intended parents.
Anything in your contract is considered enforceable once it’s finalized, so it is very important to make sure that you are comfortable with every term that is laid out to you and financial compensation regarding it. This can be one of the most serious, difficult parts of the surrogacy process, so here are some major things to consider when laying out the terms for your intended parents
Vaccination and Food Preferences
In many cases, intended parents may want you to be vaccinated for certain diseases, especially in these times, and they often have preferences for your diet. These preferences most likely have nothing to do with you personally, but rather the health of the baby. You can determine whether you are comfortable with this intrusion into your life while you are completing your profile, so we can be sure to match you to compatible IPs.. Oftentimes, with diet, the intended parents are willing to compensate you for changes in your food bill prices so that you will eat organically with no impact on your personal finances.
It’s possible that being told to eat a certain way, not travel, or to reduce other hobbies and activities may feel like an intrusion into your life, so if you are not comfortable with this, let the intended parents know.
One of the most important things to consider is termination. If you are not okay with the termination of the fetus unless there is a medical complication threatening their or your life, it is important to have this laid out in the contract. Your mental comfort is meant to be represented in this legal document, so be as clear about this term as possible.
There are many reasons that intended parents may decide to terminate, and it is a large enough issue for many people that you should set those boundaries upfront. Luckily, Simple Surrogacy matches you with a couple that shares the same priorities in termination so that this uncomfortable conversation is hopefully one you don’t need to have.
As the person giving birth, it is important that you do it in a way where you will be minimally stressed and comfortable. Have it laid out in your contract how you would prefer to have the child whether that be in the hospital, at home, a water birth, etc.
The intended parents may have some countering in this situation, as there is likely a way they would prefer the baby to be born. For example, they may want a hospital birth because of the availability of medical staff and NICU treatment if necessary. As this is one of the biggest parts of the undertaking, it’s best to have it set out in terms.
You will need to reach out to your intended parents from time to time, so that they can keep an eye on their future child. Plus, this is something they have worked and struggled with for a long time. It is is likely that your intended parents will want a significant amount of contact with you. Many surrogates develop close personal relationships with their surrogates, but there are many that prefer more structured communication.
Think about how much you want the intended parents in your life ahead of time. Do you want them to contact you after? Do you want them to feel comfortable texting you any day? These terms can be spelled out in your contract.
This is extremely important when setting the terms of your contract. Anything you want to be financially compensated for whether it be lost wages, travel expenses, meals, medical care, food, etc. should be laid out in this reproductive contract. If it’s not in writing there’s no guarantee that you will be compensated for it.
While this may seem a little harsh, especially considering the intended parents are trying to grow their family, your happiness and fulfillment is important too. Don’t be afraid to ask for more if you think it will financially impact you otherwise.
Regardless of what terms you set, you should be sure that you feel comfortable once the contract is finalized. This is a journey for you just as much as the intended parents and your safety and comfort is key. While some terms that intended parents set may seem exorbitant, keep in mind they are considering the health of their child as their primary concern. This means that it is up to you to look out for your health.
If you have questions about the surrogacy process, please reach out to us here.Go back
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