Choosing Surrogacy Over a Natural Pregnancy

When the topic of surrogacy comes up and why an individual or couple chooses to grow their family via Surrogate, the most common reasons or assumptions people think of are:

  • infertility or health issues, including age and past birth trauma
  • Gay parents who are looking to have their child have at least one parent’s DNA
  • Single parenthood (in particular single fatherhood)

Less common is a woman who is perfectly healthy and fertile and able to carry a pregnancy to term, but chooses to use a Surrogate instead.* While this type of surrogacy, often referred to as “social surrogacy,” may not be as common, over the past few years it has increased in popularity and likely will continue to.

So why would a woman choose “social surrogacy” when she is perfectly capable of getting pregnant and carrying a healthy baby to term with little to no risk for herself or her baby? There are a number of reasons, all of which are perfectly valid.

Their schedule/lifestyle does not permit the time commitment and restraints.

Unfortunately, it is still a man’s world and a “career woman” must dedicate more time and energy to pursuing corporate goals. Pregnancy takes up much of the expectant mother’s time, with doctor’s appointments, fatigue, bed rest, delivery time, recovery, and much more. Essentially, an expectant mother takes roughly a year of her time away from career progress. This time could be all that it takes for a woman’s career plan to be derailed for possibly years due to missed opportunities or simply for being seen as not taking their career seriously enough. For this reason, some women choose to conceive via Surrogate so they don’t miss out on their career nor the opportunity to have a family/child with their DNA.

They do not want to give up their current lifestyle.

Some women have become accustomed to a certain lifestyle, whether that has to do with having fun at parties and social events, or athletics, or any other number of lifestyle decisions. For many socialites, participating in certain aspects of social events is too important or enjoyable to give up but would not be sustainable for a pregnancy (such as imbibing alcohol or eating certain foods that aren’t safe during pregnancy). For athletes, pregnancy would hinder their physical activities; many sports and physical workouts can be altered to be more safe and comfortable for pregnancy, but will have to be cut back greatly and may be recommended to be stopped altogether. After delivery, as well, the recovery period could vary, putting physical activities on hold for an extended period of time.

They do not want to go through the physical changes.

Pregnancy changes your body– A LOT. Stretch marks, weight gain, wider hips, melasma (brown patches that appear on the face due to the increase in hormones during pregnancy), and a number of other physical changes that are both common and uncommon (such as varicose veins and tooth decay/loss). In some instances there is the risk of tearing during a vaginal birth, the stitching that follows, and potentially permanent damage depending on the severity and how the body heals. With a C-section, there is the surgical scar left behind and potential gut complications (though these aren’t visible from outside appearances, it is still a physical change many women may not want to risk).

They do not want to deal with the physical and mental aftercare of delivery.

Delivery a baby is hard work and takes its toll on a body, both physically and mentally. While there is much physical and mental care to be done during the roughly nine months of gestation, post-birth care can be the most tedious and exhausting. Not only have you just put your body through the strain of pushing out a several pound baby (or your body has gone through the trauma of a C-section), but you also have to care for the baby as well as your own body. Using the bathroom for a while after a vaginal birth can be painful and will require extra care to stop the risk of infection; there is also the need to pump milk properly and at timely intervals, even if you are not breastfeeding, to prevent mastitis. A more openly discussed topic in recent years is postpartum depression, which many women may choose to avoid themselves by having their baby via Surrogate.

Their occupation does not allow for the expected physical changes.

Women with occupations which rely heavily on their physical appearance may choose to grow their family via Surrogate so that they do not risk their employment. The most common occupations that come to mind are actresses and models. Becoming pregnant while filming a role can lead to unnecessary stress for the expecting mother, between figuring out how to incorporate the pregnancy or hide it, or concerns of being replaced in the filming to avoid the extra work involved in masking the pregnancy. For stunt artists, becoming pregnant also puts them out of work for a time as the risk becomes too great to both themselves and the growing life in their womb; and for models, body image is everything in a world that still favors a slim form–a pregnancy could actually lead to voided contracts and being dropped.

They are afraid of or even traumatized by childbirth.

Some women may choose to have another child via Surrogate after already carrying one or multiple children to term themselves, even if their bodies can physically handle carrying another to term again. This could be that they had a rough previous childbirth and, while cleared by a doctor, may not wish to risk going through it again. Other women who have not previously given birth but have witnessed a traumatizing childbirth, or know someone who went through a complicated birth, may themselves be traumatized through another’s experience and do not want to risk it becoming their own.

No matter what reason a woman has for choosing to use a Surrogate to grow her family, including “no reason,” the decision is completely valid. Contact the Simple Surrogacy team today to start planning your future family.

*Depending upon your geographical location, social surrogacy may be prohibited and a valid medical reason for using a Surrogate is required, such as in the state of Texas. If you are uncertain if you are located in a state or country where you need a medical reason to use a Surrogate, our network of expert lawyers can you find out what you need to know.

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