Tips for Announcing a Surrogacy Birth to Your Community

As your baby’s birthday draws nearer, so does the wonderful opportunity to introduce him or her to your loving community. Depending on you and your surrogate’s level of comfort, announcing a surrogacy baby may follow the exact traditions as any other arrangement. After all, your loving enthusiasm is all the same, you simply have a larger team making the birth possible.

Since surrogacy is becoming more and more common, contemporary approaches to both in-person conversations and more large-scale baby announcements are taking shape. At first, it may feel confusing to determine how much detail to include and how to succinctly word surrogacy announcements. For example, should you acknowledge the surrogate mother on announcement cards and posts? Additionally, do you need to explain the situation to those who were unaware you were expecting? In short, it all comes down to your personal preferences and comfort; there is no hard-and-fast rule.

Explore these options when considering the best surrogate announcement that works for you.

Celebrating the Pregnancy

 Long before your child is born, it’s fully appropriate to mirror all the traditional rituals of announcing your surrogate’s birth, the anticipated growth of your family and the date of your shower. Including the surrogacy information in every step of the process—with her and her family’s permission—will normalize the situation both before and after the baby arrives. Though timing and wording vary family to family, following these traditions without hesitation helps build excitement within the home and community.

Including the Surrogate Mother

 It’s important to consider the unique legal and personal arrangement with your surrogate mother before making any announcement decisions. Introduce this topic with your surrogacy agency early on in the process if you have questions before speaking with friends. You have the right to announce your plans, but it’s up to your agreement with the surrogate and agency when she’d like to have her name included in your reveal.

You can also explore different levels of detail within the wording of your announcement—from including the surrogate’s name and photo with the family to a simple reference to the surrogate arrangement. Variations on this may include:

• “Joyfully expecting our new family member with the help of our surrogate mother, Sarah, this September!”
• “Arriving September 2018: Baby Smith, all made possible through the generous gift from our surrogate.”
• “With the love and support of all those at Simple Surrogacy, Baby Smith is expected to arrive next fall!”

It is also perfectly acceptable to omit the surrogacy details if you feel that is best. After all, this is a private decision. Just be prepared to discuss questions that arise from close friends and family members when you announce the baby’s due date.

Partnering with the Whole Surrogate Family

 Some families choose to celebrate the entire village that made their little one possible by working in tandem with the surrogate mother throughout the process. With her permission, feature a photo on your birth announcements of you and your surrogate’s family together, highlighting all the people present for welcoming this baby into the world.

You can also create a full range of fun and playful announcements with just your surrogate mother in the photo. Depending on their comfort, include them in the gender reveal, baby showers and official birth announcements.

Play with all the ways you can announce everyone involved in the birth:

• “It takes a village” design approach by embracing the community element of surrogacy
• Sports-theme announcement including all your “team” members
• Movie or theatre poster with lead and supporting casts

Featuring the Sonogram

Another popular route for birth announcements is incorporating the sonograms throughout pregnancy. Featuring the sonogram photo on announcements keeps the focus on the baby while leaving space to honor all those involved in the text below.

For example, include a picture of you and your partner just after the baby shower, all prepared for her arrival with the sonogram photo included somewhere in the card design. With both of you in the main image, the story speaks for itself, and it’s up to you to include the surrogacy details in the text or not based on everyone’s comfort.

Tell Your Story

Some parents build excitement by including loved ones in on the whole process of surrogacy, from the day they make the initial decision to apply to the birth of their baby. Doing this helps your community both understand all the steps it took for arrive on this day, recognize everyone involved in making it happen, and act as a stronger support system as you move through each stage.

If you feel comfortable, send out your intention to start the surrogacy process just after finding the right agency. This type of announcement is quite common in the adoption process. You have decided to bring a new family member into your life, but the day is still unclear. Design elements of these announcements may include:

• A simple date announcement in text or incorporated into the photo, reading, “We’re welcoming a new family member with the help of our surrogate mom, date TBD!”
• The timeline of your surrogacy adventure, with dates ranging from your decision to finding your surrogate mothers, with the final destination as the baby’s due date.
• Embrace the story or fairy tale element with your surrogate mother listed as the co-author on a book-themed announcement.

Handling Surrogacy Questions

Comfort all begins with you and your partner. After going through the long process of considering the best options for your body, researching agencies and making this huge decision, you understand the ins and outs of surrogacy. Look back to your early decision-making questions, especially ones you brought to your agencies when originally considering if the process is right for you. These same questions may be on the minds of friends and loved ones. Your confidence and comfort with this clarification will help transition any concern to celebration.

If you need extra support, speak with your agency or explore online communities and blogs of surrogate families to further consider the best and most succinct way to quell any concerns about surrogacy. It is never your responsibility to educate others, but there are clear ways to do so while celebrating your choice as well as the choice of the surrogate mother.

There are endless ways to build a loving family. Your new baby announcement can incorporate as many traditions as you choose even in modern arrangements. By collaborating with your surrogate, you can both find the most loving way to welcome your new baby into the community.