Their Bun, My Oven: Common Questions a Surrogate Gets

Although surrogacy is becoming an increasingly common option for people with fertility challenges to pursue, the public still has a lot of questions about what surrogacy means, and the pros and cons of surrogacy. A quick glance at social media shows that many of these questions are for gestational surrogates, the women who carry the child throughout pregnancy and to birth. Below are some of the most common questions that surrogates are asked, are answered. We hope this information helps others make educated and informed decisions.

Question: Is It Easy to Become a Surrogate?

Absolutely not! To become a surrogate, the woman has to complete a detailed application process.  The application focuses on both the surrogate’s physical health and also her emotional well-being, such as ensuring that she is in a stable living environment. This is important because the surrogacy process can be stressful and emotionally challenging. Agencies, like Simple Surrogacy, are focused on ensuring that the selected surrogates have the best possible experience in every way and that they have a support network to rely upon.
The initial application process is only the first step in becoming a surrogate. The potential surrogate also needs to submit all of their medical records from previous pregnancies. The agencies work with potential surrogates who have had complication free prior pregnancies, improving the likelihood that the new pregnancy will go smoothly.

Question: Do Surrogates Feel Powerless?

At Simple Surrogacy, we work hard to ensure that our gestational surrogates feel empowered during the entire process. The proverbial ball is in the surrogate’s court. The surrogate selects the intended parents that she wants to work with, after evaluating numerous factors. But, we also make sure that our intended parents feel involved in the process, from start to finish. For example, if the intended parents want the surrogate to maintain an organic diet during the pregnancy, we work to ensure that the surrogate meets these expectations. It is important to remember that surrogacy represents a contractual relationship. And reputable agencies will work hard so that both sides feel respected and listened to throughout the process, ensuring happiness on all sides. The surrogate will also be compensated for any additional costs that it may take to meet these special requests that the intended parents may have.
As an agency, we also work to make sure that these requests are reasonable and that they are fully communicated to the surrogate before the start of the pregnancy. Nothing should come as a surprise during the nine months of the pregnancy. All reputable agencies should operate under the same principles.

Question: Is It Hard to Give the Baby Away?

Surrogates understand that the baby that they are carrying is not biologically their child. The egg(s) that were fertilized came from either the intended mother or another egg donor. They tend to see it as giving the baby BACK to his/her parents not giving it up.  The surrogates see what they are doing as providing a generous gift to parents who would otherwise not be able to have a child, and, therefore, the transition process at birth goes smoothly. At Simple Surrogacy, our surrogates meet with a licensed counselor to discuss any emotions that they may be experiencing and the counselor may equip them with various coping skills and mechanisms. The transition should be seen as a joyous moment, not a sad one. The moment all surrogates look forward to is seeing their IPs hold THEIR baby for the first time. It is truly incredible to be able to create a family.

Question: What Do Your Kids Say about You Being Pregnant?

All accepted gestational surrogates have had at least one previous successful biological pregnancy. This means that surrogates will have a child or children in their home while they are carrying a child for the intended parents. Children are curious and they will naturally ask their mom questions about the pregnancy. Moms should see this as an important teachable moment, and explain (in an age-appropriate manner) what is happening. Most surrogates explain this as that they are helpers. They are doing a good deed for families that want to have their own child. Most children respond very positively to this explanation and they are often enthusiastic and involved in their mom’s surrogacy pregnancy.

Question: Do Surrogates Become Repeat Surrogates?

A repeat surrogate is someone who goes through the surrogacy process more than one time.  There are no reliable statistics to indicate what percentage of surrogates make this decision. However, anecdotal evidence suggests that many surrogates do make this highly personal decision to give more than one family the gift of a child. But, this is personal.  And, no surrogate will ever be pressured to do anything that they are not comfortable with. The choice will be theirs entirely.

Question: Is Being a Surrogate Dangerous?

No. There are always certain risks inherent in any pregnancy or delivery, and these risks are no different from surrogates. However, at Simple Surrogacy, we work hard to minimize these risks. We do this in two specific ways. First, we carefully review the medical records of all potential surrogates, selecting only those who are in good health and have had positive previous pregnancies. This dramatically improves the likelihood of having a successful pregnancy. We also ensure that our surrogates have access to the best possible medical care. Simple Surrogacy’s goal is to promote and protect the health and well-being of both the surrogate and the baby.

Question: What Is the Best Part of Being a Surrogate?

There are numerous wonderful parts of being a surrogate. But, most surrogates agree that the best part of being a surrogate is seeing the baby placed in the parents’ arms, fulfilling what was for many a lifetime dream of becoming parents! This could not have happened without the surrogate’s extremely generous gift. And, for many surrogates, this will be a positive lifetime memory.
If you are interested in becoming a surrogate or you still have questions about the surrogacy process, please visit our information-packed website at: www.simplesurrogacy.com. And, don’t forget to check out our blog too, where you will find more personal stories and experiences. We believe that information empowers people who are involved in any part of the surrogacy process.