The LGBT Surrogacy Process

The surrogacy process is generally the same for all intended parents. For all parents – straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or other – the surrogacy process involves using sperm and eggs to create embryos and implanting them into a surrogate to carry the baby to term. Of course, this is a very simplified view of the process, and there are many decisions to be made every step of the way. At the same time, there are some unique aspects of surrogacy for members of the LGBT community.

The Surrogacy Process

One of the first steps after deciding to become parents via surrogacy is to determine what type of surrogacy you’ll use – traditional or gestational. For many couples, using a surrogacy agency makes the process much smoother. Whether you need help finding an egg donor, a sperm donor, a surrogate or even just guidance and support, an experienced and knowledgeable agency can make all the difference. For LGBT individuals, it is extremely important to select an agency that is familiar with and experienced in dealing with any and all LGBT-related surrogacy issues.
Another important decision to be made is who will be biologically related to the child. For men, this can mean deciding if one or both partners are interested in using sperm to create the embryo. For women, this can mean deciding if one (or both) partners want to have eggs retrieved for fertilization. Of course, it is always possible to use both a sperm donor and an egg donor, in which case neither intended parent would be genetically related to the child.
All intended parents have to decide between using a known or an anonymous donor. Agencies like Simple Surrogacy can connect intended parents with anonymous egg and sperm donors. However, LGBT (and even straight) couples sometimes choose to work with either a known sperm donor or a known egg donor.
Another important step is finding a woman to be your surrogate. Again, this process is the same for straight or LGBT intended parents. Sometimes a family member or friend is willing to be a surrogate, but other couples often choose to be matched with a previously unknown woman to act as their surrogate.

Surrogacy Laws

Each state has its own laws for surrogacy, with some states not even allowing surrogacy contracts. This is why it is usually recommended that intended parents hire a lawyer to help them navigate the surrogacy process from start to finish. States with the fewest restrictions on surrogacy include Texas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Maine, New Hampshire, Nevada, Colorado, Oregon and Rhode Island. (Click this link to read more about Surrogacy Laws for LGBTQ+ intended parents.)
Unfortunately, surrogacy laws can be even more complicated for members of the LGBT community. LGBT parents may have to complete additional steps to become legal parents of their child. These steps may include a pre-birth order, a full adoption, a second-parent adoption or some other arrangement. Again, this is where an agency like Simple Surrogacy or an experienced attorney can help guide intended parents through the necessary steps.

Why Surrogacy?

Surrogacy can provide a means for LGBT families to have their own child or children. Furthermore, LGBT parents still have the opportunity to be biologically related to a child through use of their own egg or sperm. There are many women who are interested in being surrogates for LGBT parents. Additionally, Simple Surrogacy can help LGBT intended parents find a surrogate that will be involved as much or as little as they would like, both during the pregnancy and after the baby is born. We do find that many of our LGBT parents develop lifelong relationships with their surrogates.

Potential Issues for LGBT Parents

Surrogacy can be complicated for all parties involved – straight or LGBT. As mentioned above, surrogacy laws vary from state to state, so navigating the legal system can be difficult for any intended parents. Unfortunately, the laws can be even more complicated for same-sex parents.
Another issue that is the same for straight and LGBT parents is the high cost of surrogacy. There are costs associated with finding an egg and/or sperm donor (if needed), the surrogate, the baby’s birth, doctor’s visits, agencies, lawyers and so many other things.
Unfortunately, some LGBT intended parents face discrimination from agencies, doctors, potential surrogates and egg donors. While we wish this was not the case, there are plenty of agencies like Simple Surrogacy that believe in helping all intended parents achieve their dreams of having a child. No matter which agencies, doctors, lawyers and others you work with, ask about their history of helping LGBT clients with surrogacy.

International Surrogacy

Many LGBT parents often consider international surrogacy. In other words, the surrogacy takes place outside the United States. However, international surrogacy can create even more legal issues, especially for same-sex couples. Some countries do not recognize same-sex marriage or LGBTQ parents. In many countries, the laws are still changing. For example, in Taiwan, a recent referendum rejected same-sex marriage.
Therefore, while surrogacy costs may be higher in the United States, it may be a less risky endeavor, especially for LGBTQ intended parents. American laws, although varied from state to state, can be less complicated and more LGBT-friendly. Additionally, a surrogacy in the United States can also provide intended parents with the opportunity to be more involved in the surrogate’s pregnancy and the baby’s delivery.

After the Baby Arrives

While surrogacy can seem difficult and daunting at times, the real challenge, of course, actually begins after a successful delivery – parenting! Of course, all children will wonder about their origins at some point, but for LGBTQ+ and other surrogacy families, the answers can be a little more complicated. One way to help with these questions is to build a home library full of LGBTQ children’s books.

The Bottom Line 

All people should be able to be parents if they are willing and able. Surrogacy is a great option to achieve this goal for individuals and couples regardless of gender or sexual orientation, even if there are other obstacles in their way. If you’re interested in learning more about how Simple Surrogacy can help create your family, check out our intended parents requirements or contact us.