Surrogacy Questions for Your Intended Parents

If you are reading this article, congratulations! You are on your way to becoming a surrogate for a deserving family. When you choose Simple Surrogacy as your agency, we conduct a screening process to ensure that both parties in the process, the intended parents, and the surrogate, are safe. We also check to see whether the intended parents are emotionally and financially stable enough to go through the surrogacy process. Once the screening process is complete and you have been matched with intended parents, the next step is typically to get to know them on a personal level. This is where you should set up an initial phone call or meeting to ask them any questions that you may have. If you are unsure of where to start, here are a few questions for your intended parents that can lead you in the right direction.

What are your interests?

The purpose of meeting with your intended parents is to find out more about them and whether they are the right fit for you. The best place to start is by asking about their interests, so you can find a connection with them.

Are your family and friends supportive of this surrogacy?

It is extremely important for the intended parents’ family and friends to be on board with this process. If they are not, it can put a huge strain on the process as well as the relationship between you and the intended parents.

What kind of relationship would you like to maintain with me before, during, and after the birth?

This is important to establish early in the surrogacy process to ensure that your expectations match the intended parents. This is where you can find out whether these intended parents are the right fit for you.

Are you going through a donor or using your own eggs/sperm?

This is an interesting question to ask because it provides you with information about the biological parents of the child. This information could potentially determine the course of the surrogacy process.

Do you plan to tell your child about this process when they are older? If so, what do you plan to tell them about me?

As a surrogate, you have every right to know whether the child will be exposed to information about this surrogacy. You also have the right to question any future relationship you may have with this child, if that was agreed upon in the beginning.

What made you and your family consider surrogacy?

All intended parents have their own unique story that led them to the surrogacy process. Asking about their story and sharing your own can help you connect on a more personal level. It can also help you decide whether you and the intended parents are on the same page during this surrogacy process.

When do you want to begin the process?

It is important to establish the time frame in which you would like to start the surrogacy process. This question allows you and the intended parents to agree upon dates that work for both of you.

Do you require me to pump breast milk after the baby is born?

Many surrogates offer to pump breast milk for the child at least for a few months after birth. If this is something you are comfortable with, don’t be afraid to ask the intended parents their thoughts on breast milk.

How involved would you like to be during this pregnancy?

It is a good idea to establish how active the intended parents will be in the pregnancy. Would they like to attend doctor’s appointments and ultrasound appointments? Would they like to go to birthing classes with you? This is where you can determine whether the intended parents’ views align with yours.

Do you have any restrictions in mind for me?

Intended parents can sometimes ask surrogates to follow a certain diet or exercise plan. You can ask them about what they have in mind for you during the initial conversation you have with them.

Are you okay with my family being involved in the process?

Some intended parents may want you to be the surrogate but require minimal involvement from your family. If you would like your family, including your child/children, around for the process, be sure to let the intended parents know in the beginning. This way you can avoid any problems that could potentially arise in the future.

Would you like to be present at the birth of the child?

Most intended parents prefer being there during the birth, but it is still important to know whether the intended parents would like to be there. If you would like your family to be present, be sure to let the intended parents know.

Do you have any questions for me?

Always remember, the intended parents are in the same boat as you. You may have lots of questions for them, but they probably have a lot of questions for you too. Give them a chance to ask you as many questions as they like so that you can both determine if you are a good fit for each other during this process.

  • The main purpose of this initial conversation is to determine whether you are comfortable with the intended parents and would like to move forward with this process. If you do not feel comfortable for any reason, you are not required to choose these intended parents.
  • Lack of support and interest from the intended parents can likely mean that they are not the right fit for you. Be sure that the intended parents are as invested in the surrogacy process as you are.
  • Some intended parents may ask you to forgo some services to cut the final cost. This can be a red flag in some cases.
  • Treat the initial conversation with the intended parents like you are meeting a new friend. It should be casual but also personal so that you can establish whether they are the right fit for you.

Thank you for considering surrogacy and helping deserving couples receive the gift of a child. If you have any questions about the surrogacy process, please visit our website today!

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