Surrogacy and Siblings

Surrogacy is an exciting journey! A new baby is certainly an excellent call for celebration. Your family is growing by one, and now you have the unique opportunity to help prepare your children for the newest addition. Your current children should be actively involved in the process of welcoming their new sibling. It is an important step in the bonding process even if they may not physically be near the baby before they are born.

How to prepare your children

There are several things to consider when it comes to helping to prepare your current children for their new sibling. As your baby’s due date comes closer and your family’s excitement grows, you should also be working to prepare your children for the transition of having an infant in the house. Here are some ways to help prepare your children for the arrival of their new sibling.

• Explain Surrogacy

This may seem self-explanatory but ensuring that your child has an understanding of the concept of surrogacy is important. Explaining the process in a way that they can comprehend, based on their age and maturity, is the best way to eliminate any confusion about the concept of surrogacy.

There are several children’s books available on the subject of surrogacy. Stories are a great way to introduce the subject to children in a way that they can easily relate to. Best of all, most of these stories were written by parents who have gone through the process of surrogacy and know exactly what to include. Here are a few titles that may help you explain surrogacy to your children:

• The Very Kind Koala: A Surrogacy Story for Children by Kim Kluger-Bell
• Gal and Noa’s Daddies by Shosh Pinkas
• The Baby Kangaroo Treasure Hunt: A Gay Parenting Story by Carmen Martinez Jover

• Use Active Language

Active language is especially important for younger children. You will need to make sure that they understand that their new sibling is on the way. Using phrases that include the words “your new baby brother/sister” is a great way to solidify the new baby’s existence in your family. Once your child picks up the habit of referring to their younger sibling, you can rest assured that they have a basic understanding of what to expect.

• Share Information

There are many exciting milestones that come with any pregnancy. Sharing things like sonograms, the sex of the child, and even pictures of your surrogate’s belly will help your child to feel as if they are a part of the process.

• Create Visuals

Everyone can appreciate a good visual. Physical visual reminders such as a new baby room or even a calendar that counts down to their new sibling’s due date are great ways to help prepare your child. Some parents choose to make books that tell the surrogacy story of their new arrival. You should include your children in this process. If they are old enough, have them write a letter to the new baby. All of these activities serve to help children reinforce the idea that their new sibling is coming soon.

Conclusion

Surrogacy can be a new and difficult topic for children to comprehend. However, there are several methods that will help your child understand surrogacy. Once your children are adequately prepared, they’ll be off the walls with excitement about welcoming their new sibling.