IVF Failure: What It Is and What To Do

IVF, as with all things in the world of alternative family planning, is a deeply personal experience. IVF failure – or, what happens when an embryo fails to implant in the lining of the uterus after an IVF cycle – is no different. It’s important to remember, however, that as personal as it feels, having a failed cycle doesn’t mean that you are to blame, or that you cannot have the family you’re dreaming of.   

IVF cycles can fail for many reasons; embryo quality, the age of the eggs in question, ovarian response, chromosomes, or lifestyle. Keep reading to learn more about each. 

1. Embryo Quality: The quality of the embryo chosen matters. It matters so much so that this is the most common cause of IVF failure. An embryo that appears healthy in a lab may have other defects that cause them to fail to grow properly, which is not the fault of the uterus carrying it.

2. Egg age: The age of the eggs also plays a role, which is true with or without IVF. On average, around 25% of IVF embryos will end in a live birth – and these success rates fluctuate depending on the age of the eggs. Using an Egg Donor can be a huge help to older women struggling to conceive with IVF.

3. Ovarian response: Sometimes a woman’s ovaries simply do not respond to IVF medication the way they are expected to. This can be impacted by age but can also be impacted by the level of hormone stimulation each individual woman requires. A woman who requires high hormone levels to stimulate follicle production may fail to produce multiple eggs through no fault of her own.

4. Chromosomes: Sometimes embryos have unforeseen chromosomal abnormalities that lead to IVF failure – something that is true both in natural conception and lab development. This is a relatively common cause of IVF failure, and one that increases in likelihood with age.  

5. Lifestyle: It’s crucial to set yourself up for success wherever possible with IVF, and certain lifestyle behaviors can be harmful to potential pregnancies. These include things like smoking (smokers often need up to twice as many IVF cycles to conceive, and experience miscarriages more frequently than non-smokers). Being over or underweight can also have an impact.

With the exception of lifestyle, none of these reasons for possible IVF failure are the “fault” of the person trying to conceive, whether it is an Intended Parent or a Surrogate. So how does one process this? There are multiple viewpoints to consider here.

1. I am an Intended Mother and my IVF cycle just failed. Am I responsible?

 Remember: this isn’t your fault. This isn’t anyone’s fault. There are so many reasons IVF failure happens, but what is important for you to focus on are the next steps. Beating yourself up over something that so many people go through as though you caused it, will only harm your own mindset. Give yourself space to be disappointed so that you can – when you’re ready, of course – regroup and discuss next steps with your fertility counselor. 

2. I am a Surrogate and I had a failed IVF cycle. I feel guilty, and the Intended Parents seem more distant than they were before. Do they blame me? Was this my fault?

 While there may be isolated incidents where this is the case, it is not likely. Alternative family planning is a lengthy journey, and a very sensitive one at that. The Intended Parents are understandably disappointed that the results weren’t what they hoped, and new Intended Parents can often see IVF via Surrogate as a “guarantee” that they’ll get a pregnancy on the first try. They may also be concerned that you will have second thoughts after experiencing a failure. Intended Parents, like the Surrogate, need space to process their feelings (After all, IVF is a very personal procedure, even when it isn’t your child that you are carrying).

3. I am an Intended Parent and my Surrogate’s cycle failed. It’s hard to manage my disappointment, and I need a little space from my Surrogate while I process. Is that okay?

This is a perfectly reasonable way to feel. After any major disappointment, it’s important to take time to process – and ultimately, it’s a good idea. Taking a breather can prevent either the Intended Parents or Surrogate from projecting their disappointment onto the other party and risk truly damaging the relationship.  

At Simple Surrogacy, our priority is the wellbeing and success of all of our Egg Donors, Surrogates and Intended Parents. If you are struggling after a failed IVF cycle, or with any other part of your IVF journey, your personal coordinator can help connect you with one of our experienced fertility counselors. It’s okay to have negative feelings – it’s just important to not let them discourage you from your goal: having the family you’ve always wanted.

If you have any questions about Egg Donation, Surrogacy or are interested in becoming an Intended Parent, please contact us. We’d love to hear how we can help you take those next steps on your journey towards parenthood!