How Gay Men Can Become Parents Through Surrogacy


The number of gay couples starting families has been steadily rising over the past several years. Third-party reproductive methods like surrogacy—originally  first used by heterosexual couples struggling to conceive—are now helping gay men build families.

Here is a brief overview of how gay men can become parents through surrogacy:

First Steps

Starting a family is a big step for many gay couples. Although adoption has been an option for some time now, surrogacy has recently started allowing gay couples to create a family biologically and have children that are genetically related to them. As such, it’s important to consider the first steps of the process carefully to ensure this is the right decision for your growing family.

  • Find a surrogacy agency that you like and that has a strong record of helping gay men. Make sure you feel comfortable and your questions are answered. Make sure you have direct contact to the heads of the company.
  • Review the timeline and process of surrogacy, as well as the agency’s costs and policies.
  • Decide who will provide the sperm. Maybe it will be both of you?
  • Find a surrogate through your agency. Ask about average matching times.
  • Find an egg donor through your agency.
  • Meet with an experienced attorney to create and sign a contract. Your agency may be able to recommend a great reproductive attorney to you.
  • After doctors review the donor and surrogate’s medical records, they will go for screening at your clinic and then, be cleared to begin legal followed by IVF.

Special Considerations

While the surrogacy process is basically the same for gay men as it is for other couples, there are some unique factors to consider. Important decisions that gay couples need to make before beginning the surrogacy process include:

  • Deciding which partner will be genetically related to the baby. Or choose both!
  • Whether to choose a known acquaintance or anonymous person for your egg donor.
  • Which professionals in your area are most LGBT-friendly.

Once you have discussed these important issues with your partner, you should be able to embark on the surrogacy journey as any other parents-to-be would.

Legal Matters

Legal issues around third-party reproduction and gay parenting vary by state. In some states, parenting laws are outdated and can be unclear or non-existent when it comes to surrogacy. It is important to verify that the contract between you and your surrogate is legally binding and that you and your partner are the legal parents of the child.

Legislators in states with little legal structure on surrogacy are currently pushing bills that would require designation of legal parents before birth and ensure that surrogate contracts are enforceable.

Are You Considering Surrogacy?

Are you and your partner ready to start building your family? Simple Surrogacy assists gay couples and individuals in starting a family by third-party reproduction. For a high standard of care at an affordable cost, contact us through our website or call us toll-free at 1-866-41-SURRO.


Go back

Surrogacy Blog

Load More →

Destination: Simple Surrogacy

If you have ever considered becoming a surrogate mother, chances are there are a million thoughts running through your mind at once.  Is this the right thing for me? What if something happens along the way? What will people think?…

Lern more →

Simple Surrogacy Spotlight: Darla, Support Coordinator

"I was in my early twenties and becoming a surrogate mother was the furthest thing from my mind. It was not until I had a very unplanned, yet very lively conversation with a woman who was a surrogate, and absolutely…

Lern more →

You Are Not Alone: A Surrogate Mother’s Experience

I felt him take his last breath inside me. A high-pitched sound rang in my ears as I watched them scramble to find the faintest semblance of a heartbeat. I knew it was no longer there. As a surrogate mother,…

Lern more →

Login as a Surrogate

Login as an Intended Parent

Login as a Donor

Donations - Login as an Intended Parent