As the holidays are approaching, it is an exciting time for everyone, including families expecting a baby in the new year. When you’re out shopping for gifts for family and friends, you might be wondering, “Should I get a gift for my surrogate?” After all, your surrogate is giving you one of the greatest gifts of all – the gift of life. While certainly not necessary or expected, intended parents often feel the desire to give a gift to their surrogate.
Gift giving is not just limited to the holidays either. It’s a situation many intended parents consider on other occasions including the surrogate’s birthday, on transfer day and even at the time of the baby’s birth (frequently referred to as a “push present”).
To help out intended parents who are looking for gifts for their surrogates, we’ve put together a gift guide. Your gift choice will be unique depending on your relationship with your surrogate. At the same time, many of these gifts can be given from the surrogate to the intended parents too!\
Whether you choose a simple necklace, earrings or bracelet, many women appreciate jewelry, especially if it has sentimental or symbolic meaning. A necklace with a “seed” or a heart can represent the growing baby. You might also choose a meaningful charm for a bracelet. If you’re not sure what type of jewelry she likes, you could always buy a jewelry box instead. Jewelry presents are nice because you can find something to fit almost any budget.
A Spa Day
Something small that is great for surrogate mothers (or even parents-to-be) is a relaxing day at the spa. Consider a gift card for a massage, manicure, pedicure or facial. If you’re looking for something more personal or cost-effective, you could create an at-home spa basket with relaxing bubble baths, essential oils, candles, face masks and nail polish. If you want to add something more substantial to your at-home spa gift basket, put all of your smaller items inside a foot soaking tub.
For intended parents that have a close relationship with their surrogate, a small heartfelt gift can be a wonderful present. The gift can be as simple as a card with a thoughtful note or letter. Other ideas include a pregnancy journal or a picture frame that says “Love at First Sight” with a sonogram picture. We’ve even seen keychains that include an engraving of the baby’s heartbeat from the sonogram.
Pregnancy Survival Kit
Create a gift basket of pregnancy favorites like Preggie Pops and stretch mark cream. You could even add in some food items for her pregnancy cravings and books about pregnancy or surrogacy. If your budget allows and it’s something that your surrogate does not already have, many pregnant women love pregnancy pillows that allow them to rest more comfortably.
Again, if you are close to your surrogate and know her size, you could purchase some maternity clothes. If you’re not sure about her size or style, a gift card to Motherhood Maternity (or any other retailer that carries maternity clothes) can help her add to her wardrobe as needed. Another great idea is to give comfy slippers or a fluffy robe that can last well beyond pregnancy.
This idea might not be the right fit for every surrogate, but if you think your surrogate would like to remember this special pregnancy in a unique way, consider gifting her with a maternity photo shoot. You can also include a package with purchased prints and a picture frame. A photo shoot involving her entire family would be a great way for your surrogate to include everyone in the pregnancy as well.
Etsy definitely makes it easy to shop for surrogate gifts. There are so many cute gift ideas like mugs, shirts, keychains and necklaces that include sayings like “Their bun, my oven,” “I make families. What’s your superpower?” and “Pregnant with purpose.” From sentimental to funny, Etsy has gifts that can fit almost any price range and can be given to surrogates or intended parents for any occasion from transfer day to birth and beyond.
For a simpler way to show your gratitude, there’s nothing like a beautiful flower arrangement. Reflect the beauty of her wonderful gift with gorgeous flowers. Orchids are symbolic of fertility, love and thoughtfulness. In a similar way, you could send a fruit basket or an Edible Arrangement. These are pretty and delicious (and healthy too)!
Feed your surrogate mom and your baby – but without the work for her! Food gifts are great because they can benefit your surrogate as well as her family. Plus, there are so many options! Give a gift subscription to a meal delivery service. Send cookies – either homemade or from a store. To make mealtime easier, send a gift card to a restaurant near her, and if you live close to your surrogate, you could even drop off a homemade meal.
Gifts for Her Family
The decision for a woman to be a surrogate impacts her family as well. Depending on your surrogate as well as your relationship, you may want to include small gifts for the rest of her family, including her spouse and children. Whether you choose toys or books for the children or tickets to an experience the entire family can enjoy, acknowledging the whole family’s role in your journey to become parents can be particularly special and appreciated.
Gifts After Baby Is Born
If you are continuing the relationship between your families after the baby is born, gift-giving may continue for years to come. As your baby grows, consider creating a scrapbook of his or her milestones to present to your surrogate.
Of course, all of these gift ideas depend on the relationship between your and your surrogate. Gift giving is definitely not expected or necessary, so don’t feel that you must get your surrogate a gift. If you’re unsure about giving a gift, the Simple Surrogacy team can provide advice as well. However, if your relationship with your surrogate leaves you feeling like you want to provide her with a gift, there are many great options for this special woman in your life.
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