Congratulations! You’re the Parents of a Newborn! Now What?

Your journey of becoming parents has come to a wonderful conclusion. You’ve been on quite the emotional journey working with your surrogacy agency to become parents of your own baby. You’ve supported your surrogate mother through each of the stages of your pregnancy. And you’ve anticipated this moment for a long time and now it’s a reality. You’re the parents of a beautiful newborn baby. Now what?
Now the parenting fun begins. Those moments you’ve been dreaming of. But those first days at home with a newborn can be overwhelming and emotional. Here’s what you can expect now that you’re the intended parents of your own little darling.

Be Prepared!

Before you bring your baby home from the hospital prepare things at home so you can focus on being new parents. Stock up the fridge and kitchen with food that’s easy to prepare. Make meals ahead of time and freeze, making them easy to pull out and reheat. In those first few weeks of living with your new baby you’ll have little time or energy to cook healthy meals.
Other ways to prepare for life after the birth of your baby are to pay bills ahead of time and book doctor appointments with the pediatrician in advance.

Limit Visitors

When you first bring your baby home, family and friends will be eager to meet this much anticipated new family member. And you’ll no doubt be excited to show your baby off to everyone you know. Try to make those first few days at home relaxing and quiet as the three of you settle into being a family. No matter how much you’ve prepared for this day, bringing baby home with you can be stressful and confusing. You’ve gone from thinking about holding your baby in your arms to having to change diapers and find ways to soothe a crying baby. Limiting visitors for a few days allows you to settle into a routine and calm down from the excitement of birth.

Take Time to Become a Family

It takes time to become a family, so give yourself that time without rushing into the busyness of life in those first few weeks at home. Don’t take on more than you can handle – you don’t need to be super-parents. Taking care of your new baby is going to take up most of your day, from feeding, to diaper changes, to baths and time for bonding. There won’t be many minutes left in the day for you to take on much more. Let the housework go – or hire someone to come in and do the cleaning for you. Postpone that trip to see the grandparents and have them come visit you instead. This is the time for you and your partner to settle into the routine of being new parents.

Babies and Sleep

For the first few months, expect your baby’s sleep schedule to change regularly. In fact, don’t expect a schedule at all! Newborns will sleep for about four hours before they wake to feed. In total they’ll sleep about 16 hours out of every 24. However, every baby is different and just when you think you have your little bundle all figured out, the sleep schedule will change again.
A note on sleep – as new parents of a baby that’s waking every few hours, it’s easy to become sleep deprived. Sleep when you can and don’t feel guilty about grabbing a nap during the day when your baby is sleeping.

Supporting Your Partner

No matter how long you’ve waited for the moment to become parents and how excited you are, there are going to be days when one of you is tired and emotional and needs a little extra support from your partner. Take turns getting a good night of sleep, more than the usual four that babies seem to allow new parents. Encourage your partner to spend some time alone, reading or going for a walk. Every new parent needs some time to disconnect and recharge. Acknowledge when you’re having one of these days and need a little TLC from your partner.

Have a Support Team

One of the most important things you can do when you have a new baby is to have a support team that can step in and lend a hand when you need a little break. This can be grandparents, other family members, or close friends. No new parent is ever fully prepared for how much work a little one can be. Those first weeks can be exhausting, as you and your partner take turns getting up at night to feed a hungry baby. A full night of uninterrupted sleep becomes a rare event.
As does spending any time alone with your partner. At least once a week have someone from your support team step in and give you some time off. Go out for dinner with your partner, see a movie, or just take a quiet walk together. Don’t feel guilty about leaving your newborn with someone else so soon after birth. This is a time that you and your partner need to reconnect so you can help each other through those sleepless nights and those days when neither one of you can stop your baby from fussing.

Contact With Your Surrogate

Don’t forget your surrogate during these first few weeks at home. Depending on the arrangement that you’ve made about contact after birth, this can be a nice time to send her pictures of your baby. Or send her flowers just to thank her again for all that she’s done and that you’re thinking of her.

From the Surrogacy Journey to the Parenting Journey

Your journey of becoming parents has been an exciting one, all the way from the day you decided you wanted to use a surrogacy agency to become parents all the way to the day your baby was born. Congratulations as you enjoy the journey of being parents, of bonding with your new baby as the three of you become a family.