Delivery Day

Delivery day (or night) is the climax of the surrogacy journey where all the months of waiting come to a head. Intended parents anxiously await the arrival of the newest member of their family and the surrogate prepares for the physical and emotional challenges that come with bringing forth new life into the world.
You’d like to be ready for this moment, but there are steps that need to be taken before you can truly be prepared. Delivery Day isn’t just packing a hospital bag and being done with it. There are a ton of questions and concerns to navigate in preparation for the big day. Here are some important things to address to make sure that Delivery Day is a wonderful and momentous experience for everyone involved.

What’s your birth plan?

While there is no guarantee that your birth plan will go exactly as you wanted it to, it’s important to get answers to questions sooner rather than later. A birth plan requires excellent and in-depth communication from everyone involved. It allows both the intended parents and surrogate to bring their concerns to the table. Making sure everyone is on the same page in this process is one of the first steps to bonding everyone involved in the journey. Get answers to questions like:

• Who will be in the delivery room?
• Who will the baby be handed to first?
• Will the baby be breastfed for their first few meals?

What should the intended parents etiquette be during birth?

Intended parents should be sure to stick to any and all previous arrangements made by both parties. In the heat of the moment, it is easy to get overwhelmed with excitement and anticipation. However, if you and your surrogate agreed not to take any pictures of the birth or bringing in any visitors into the delivery room, then it is important that you refrain from doing so. It is a way to show respect for the wishes of everyone involved. If there is an unexpected event or something that was not previously discussed, then the decision of how to proceed will often be decided by the doctor or surrogate.

How to support both your surrogate and partner during the birth of your child.

The delivery room can be a blur of action and noises that can sometimes make it hard to connect with your surrogate and your partner. If you have been permitted to be inside the delivery room, you should try to focus on smaller details, so as not to be overwhelmed. Try focusing on holding your partner’s hand. You can also hold your surrogate’s hand if she has permitted you to.
If you have not been permitted to be in the delivery room during the birth, then it is important to respect your surrogate or doctor’s wishes. This is a great time for you and your partner to connect as you await the newest member of your family. Talk with your partner and be sure to support each other until you meet your new baby.

Single intended parents during the birth of the child.

Contrary to popular belief, single intended parents do not lack support during the surrogacy process. Many single intended parents choose to include close friends and family in the birth of their child. Whether you have your parents or best friend there, they can still provide you comfort through the excitement and anxiety that comes with new life.
If you are a single father, you may find that you and your surrogate have a more intimate experience during the birth of the child. If you have both opted for the surrogate or egg donor to remain in the child’s life then this is a journey for both of you. You will get the opportunity to share the experience of the birth of the child in a more intimate way.

Meeting your child.

For surrogate mothers, there are several ways that they may want to handle their birth. If the intended parents are in the room during birth, the surrogate may choose to have them cut the child’s umbilical cord and be the first to hold the child. It is all dependent on the arrangements made between the intended parents and the surrogate.
The moment that intended parents get to hold their newborn is a special one. Holding and naming the child helps to solidify the bond between the newborn and parents. In most cases, the child will be housed in a room with the intended parents, while the surrogate recovers in a separate room. However, that arrangement can change based on the conditions of the birth (premature babies may be admitted to the NICU) and the conditions of the birth plan that both parties agreed upon.

Bonding with your child after birth.

Intended parents have an almost immediate opportunity to bond with their child from the first time they hold their new baby. After taking the baby home, they can focus on bonding activities such as holding, feeding, and speaking to the baby. These activities will reinforce the familial bond between parents and child through touching and interaction. They benefit the whole family.

Relationship with your surrogate after birth.

Your relationship with your surrogate will depend on what you both choose. Some parents stay in touch with their surrogates, even providing pictures and updates of the child’s growth. Some choose to end the relationship amicably and that’s that. Whatever relationship you choose to have with your surrogate after birth, make sure that it is something that you are both comfortable with. It is becoming more and more common to gift a surrogate something personal after the journey you have shared together. It is a perfect way to convey the sentiment of the amazing gift she has given your family and your gratitude.

In Conclusion

Surrogacy requires open and honest communication between both the surrogate and intended parents. In the beginning, it can seem like delivery day is ages and ages away, but it is hugely beneficial to prepare for it as early as possible. Making a plan for what to expect on the day your newborn is brought into the world can help to prevent unnecessary stress on both you and your surrogate. This will ensure that the delivery day is full of nothing but love and happy tears. Simple Surrogacy prides itself on helping to make sure your special day is perfect.