Egg donation is currently a major force in the assisted reproduction process. Women donate their healthy eggs to aid other individuals in their journey to starting a family. That said, both intended parents and egg donors work with an agency…Lern more →
Bringing Home a Surrogate Baby
If you are an intended parent awaiting the birth of your baby through a surrogate, you probably have several questions and concerns regarding your baby. Will your baby recognize you as the parent? Will you be able to bond with your baby? We are here to provide you with as much information as you need to prepare yourself for bringing your surrogacy baby home.
Parents share a deep, emotional bond with their children, and the bond gets stronger as the child grows up. This bond is what drives a parent to care for their child and provide them with everything they need. In psychological terms, this bond between parents and their child is known as Attachment.
Attachment occurs from the first day of pregnancy, but in the case of surrogacy, Attachment needs to occur from the moment the baby is born. At this point, your baby recognizes the surrogate through her scent and voice. As the parents of the baby, you need to establish an emotional transfer to begin the bonding process. This essentially means that you are transferring the baby from the care of the surrogate to you. Keep reading to find out how to perform a successful emotional transfer.
- Talk to your baby. Before the baby is born, try to see your surrogate as much as possible and spend time with the baby. If you are not able to see your surrogate as often as you’d like, try sending voice recordings of you speaking or singing that can be played to the baby. This allows your baby to recognize your voice before birth. Continue talking to your baby after he or she is born to promote a quick Attachment.
- Get involved in and excited about the pregnancy. This is your baby, so it is perfectly acceptable for you to attend regular doctor’s appointments, plan a baby shower, and even decorate the nursery! Getting involved will ensure that you are better prepared to care for the baby. You can develop an Attachment to your baby just by anticipating his or her arrival.
- A physical emotional transfer has to occur in order for the Attachment process to begin. When the baby is born at the hospital, let him or her smell and feel the surrogate. This makes the baby feel comfortable since he or she can recognize the surrogate. Then, the surrogate can physically hand your baby over to you.
- When you bring your baby home, be sure to have as much skin to skin contact as possible, since it promotes Attachment between you and your baby. One way to establish skin to skin contact is by breastfeeding. Even though you did not carry your baby, breastfeeding is still possible with the help of medicines and pumping. Speak to your doctor to discuss your options for breastfeeding. It may be challenging, but it will fulfill your baby’s needs and promote Attachment.
- Be patient. Attachment can take time to be established between you and your baby. Try not to blame every hiccup on the surrogacy. Keep in mind that babies are fussy and cranky, it has nothing to do with the surrogacy itself!
- Shower the baby with love and attention. Biology and anatomy should not be the only determinants of establishing an emotional connection with the baby. As long as you nurture and care for the baby the same way, bonding with your surrogacy baby and developing Attachment is possible.
Other Ways to Prepare
- Attend parenting classes that can help you prepare to care for your baby. They are equipped with professionals that will answer any questions that you may have, and you will get to meet other parents who may be in the same position as you.
- Read, read, read. There are thousands of books and websites out there that are dedicated to parenting and newborn care. At Simple Surrogacy, we understand how overwhelming bringing home a new baby can be, so it may be a good idea to read one or two resources to get a glimpse of what you can expect when parenting for your newborn. Our blog is full of great advice and information!
- Gather items that are essential to the well-being of your baby such as a stroller, diapers, and a crib. This can show you that you are physically providing for your child and will help you get excited for the arrival of the baby.
- Enjoy the entire experience. As an intended parent (IP), you may not be able to experience pregnancy first hand, however, you still have nine months to mentally, physically, and emotionally prepare for the arrival of your newborn! Get as involved as you can as a parent. Whether it’s throwing a baby shower, enrolling in baby registries, or attending classes, a little bit goes a long way!
- Don’t hesitate to ask for help and form a support system for yourself. Talk to family, friends, and other people who have been in the same position as you. No advice is bad advice! You will feel a lot more prepared for the arrival of your surrogacy baby.
As the due date of your baby approaches, you may be feeling more nervous and anxious. There is no shortage of advice that anyone can give you for your new role as a parent. Prepare and educate yourself on what to expect when the baby comes and get excited!
Keep in mind that even though you are not carrying your baby, there is still plenty that you can do to establish an emotional bond with your baby and care for him or her. For more information about surrogacy or to look into surrogacy as an option for you, visit our website today. Simple Surrogacy makes surrogacy simple!Go back
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