Debunking Surrogacy Myths

Surrogacy is a hotly debated topic because of the myths that surround it. It is portrayed incorrectly in media, skewed in the news, and now is completely misunderstood by most people who haven’t researched the process. 

Simple Surrogacy wants to make surrogacy accessible to anyone who wants a blood-related child, so we’re debunking some of these myths today.

The Carrier Will be Blood-Related to My Child

A lot of the myths surrounding surrogacy deal with knowledge about traditional surrogacy. It is the first form of alternate family planning that uses a family member of the Intended Parents to carry the child. Technology has come so far since then! With gestational surrogacy, both the egg and the sperm come from the intended parents or a donor. The surrogate is simply carrying the child to term! With IVF, it’s easier than ever.

Thus, your baby from a gestational surrogate will not come out looking like the surrogate, the child will not absorb their genetic DNA, and it won’t carry any blood type markers reminiscent of the carrier.

The Surrogate Can Keep the Baby If They Change Their Mind

In the United States, gestational surrogacy has laws surrounding the birth and adoption of a child through surrogacy. We have some of the best protective laws for Intended Parents and surrogates; this will not happen to you.

Firstly, surrogates that apply to carry a child go through a screening in which professionals determine that their physical and mental health is well-equipped to handle this journey. Surrogates that make it past this process have no plans to attempt to claim the child after it’s born.

In addition, reproductive lawyers outline this in a surrogacy contract when the process starts. A good contract surrounding surrogacy is clear that the child will go to the intended parents with no exceptions.

Finally, if you’re still worried about it, Intended Parents in the United States do not have to adopt the child. Intended Parents are the genetic parents of a child born through surrogacy and legally are already considered the legal guardians and parents. This stipulation is outlined in your Surrogacy Agreement as well.

Surrogates Have to Do Whatever Their Intended Parents Want

As a surrogate, you are still an adult with autonomy. You do not have to do whatever the Intended Parents say, especially if you find it offensive or intrusive. When matching a surrogate to Intended Parents, there is a process where both profiles get compared. The agency makes sure that their values and expectations match up. This process prevents a contentious relationship between the surrogate and the Intended Parents from forming. 

In addition, a lot of media shows surrogates living with their Intended Parents. This is also not the case! To qualify as a surrogate, you must be in a stable living situation with a support network of your own. You are never expected, required, or recommended to move in with your Intended Parents.

Women Become Surrogates for Money

Surrogates get monetarily compensated for giving the gift of life to a family and donating their time and physical being to the process, but that is far from the only reason to do it. Most women become surrogates after hearing about a friend’s journey with infertility or after learning about what some families go through to have a biological child. Surrogacy is not a matter of selling your womb; it’s a choice to put an end to someone’s struggles with infertility.

Any Woman Can Be A Surrogate

This is not true! Surrogates have to pass a physical health test, fertility test, mental evaluation, and meet many other criteria to qualify to carry someone’s child. One of the most important qualifications is that a surrogate must have already had a child of their own. Knowing that they successfully passed through pregnancy without experiencing dangerous effects assures us that they could do it again. 

You Can’t Be A Surrogate If Your Tubes Are Tied

Many doctors prefer if your tubes are tied for surrogacy! Having your Fallopian Tubes seared does not mean that your uterus is non-functional. If your tubes are tied, the chances of interference from your reproductive system are lower, which makes you a great candidate for surrogacy.

Surrogacy is Only For Celebrities

There are a lot of rich and famous people who have had children by surrogate, but most of them have done so for the same reason as regular people: infertility or previous difficulty with pregnancy. This issue plagues many people, though it’s not spoken about. There are financial options and variable price points for agencies if you want to pursue surrogacy but have a lower income. 

Surrogacy is Selfish

This line of thinking is disrespectful to people suffering from infertility and people in same-sex couples who are unable to conceive. You can grow your family however you want, and it’s not up to other people. If you want a biological child but are unable to conceive, there is no reason that you shouldn’t have one. Most naysayers citing this reason have never experienced infertility or engaged with alternative family planning before.

You Can’t Breastfeed A Child From A Surrogate

Doctors recommend that you breastfeed your child, even if they’re born through surrogacy. You may not have carried the child but they can still see the benefits of being breastfed at an early age. Medicine has come a long way, and now by introducing hormones to your body, you can lactate and produce milk for the child!

It’s Harder to Bond With a Child From A Surrogate

Bonding from birth is no less valuable than in the womb. Your child will form memories of you as long as you are present and loving. Recently, a study revealed that children born by surrogates often have stronger relationships with their parents overall. Your child will always know how hard you worked to bring them into the world, and their bond with you will be just as strong. Birthing a child is not the ultimate determining factor of love, it’s all the love and effort that goes in afterward.

Dispelling myths is essential for the surrogacy community if we hope to grow more families and help more people. 

For more information about becoming a surrogate, please check out more information here.