From Cells to Celebrations: A Parent’s Guide to Discussing Surrogacy with Kids

Entering the realm of parenthood through third-party reproduction unfolds a tapestry of conversations that prove both challenging and rewarding. While conventional wisdom often advises an early introduction to the topic, the fatigue of raising a kid led the individual to weave the narrative of assisted reproduction into everyday life, embracing a personalized and dynamic approach.


The Everyday Narrative

Beyond Story time – Casual Conversations

As a parent, the exhaustion of early parenthood didn’t lend itself to nightly story sessions. Instead, the individual seamlessly integrated discussions about their children’s conception into everyday life. From pediatrician visits to scrolling through social media, opportunities were found to bring up the topic organically.


Timely Reminders

March 30th and April 5th – Significance in Dates

Rather than relying on storybooks, the individual chose to mark the milestones of their children’s conception with specific dates. March 30th became a yearly reminder of the day the egg donation process began, emphasizing the significance of their unique origin. Similarly, April 5th symbolized the day their children officially became part of the family, creating a tangible and annual touch point for discussion.


Family Medical History Talks

Pediatrician Visits – A Window for Understanding

Incorporating discussions about the donor into routine pediatrician visits allowed the individual to normalize the narrative of assisted reproduction. Addressing family medical history became an opportunity to explain the intricacies of their children’s conception, emphasizing the positive aspects and fostering a sense of openness.


Social Media Connections

The Donor’s Facebook Presence – Real-time Connections

In the age of social media, the individual utilized platforms like Facebook to maintain a connection between their children and their egg donor. Showcasing the donor’s posts and pointing out physical resemblances aimed to create a visual link that complemented verbal discussions, helping the children understand and appreciate their unique family dynamic.


Responding to Unpredictable Questions

Strange Queries – Navigating Spontaneity

Despite being open from the start, children may surprise parents with unexpected questions. Addressing these inquiries requires patience and a willingness to model appropriate language. When the daughter shouted a shower-time question about adoption, it became an opportunity for the individual to reinforce the correct terminology and further normalize the conversation surrounding their children’s conception.


Evolution of Conversations

A Continuous Process – Adapting as Kids Grow

Talking to children about assisted reproduction isn’t a one-time event; it’s an ongoing process that evolves with their understanding. As they grow, the depth and complexity of the conversations can adjust, ensuring that the narrative remains age-appropriate and aligns with their developing comprehension.



In navigating the narrative of assisted reproduction, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. The individual’s journey as a parent of twins led them to infuse the discussion seamlessly into everyday life, transforming routine activities into opportunities for connection and understanding. Embracing the uniqueness of their family’s story and adapting the conversation over time ensures a positive and open dialogue about the beautiful and unconventional path to parenthood.


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