Do Surrogates Get Attached to the Baby?

You might assume that because a surrogate is pregnant for nine months with a child, by the end, they feel maternally attached to the baby. Then, it would be really hard for them to give up the child based on the connection they built over the last nine months.

However, surrogates start working on their emotional transfer before the baby is even implanted, making the transfer easier on their mental health. It also allows them to develop a unique relationship with the baby after the transition is made. And having a strong relationship with the Intended Parents, and being able to picture them raising their future child, helps with that emotional transfer.


Surrogates Know It’s Not Their Baby

The first step to this process is that from the very beginning, a surrogate knows that the baby is not theirs and will go home with someone else. To that point, the baby is not genetically related to them! Oftentimes, surrogates will refer to the child as their “Belly Buddy” or to surrogacy as “Extreme Babysitting” to remind themselves out loud and put it into their mind that the baby is not theirs.

This helps them keep some distance from the child growing inside them, and not feel any sense of loss after the delivery.


Surrogates Don’t Want More Kids

One of the typical requirements of surrogacy is that the surrogate is done growing their family. People who are eligible for the job generally are not looking to have more children added to their family, but love being pregnant and want to help another family grow!

At the end of the delivery, a surrogate goes home to recover without a new bundle of joy screaming or shortened sleep schedules. Often they may even have children old enough to dote on them while they heal.


Surrogates Usually See The Child Again

Surrogates and their Belly Buddies have a special relationship outside of the womb, the same as they did in it. Most surrogates stay in the child’s life through pictures, visits, newsletters, and other updates. Once their Belly Buddy is delivered, that’s not the end, which grants a lot of comfort during the emotional transfer.


Surrogates are Screened For Attachment Issues

During the surrogate’s medical screening, there is also a psychological screening to determine whether they can emotionally and mentally take on this journey. Not everyone is up to the task! Rest assured, if a surrogate passes the psych test, they are prepared for the child’s birth and the emotional transfer to the parents.


If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate, reach out here.

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