Questions to Expect When Becoming an Egg Donor
Becoming an Egg Donor is a selfless, noble act – and one that is largely misunderstood by people who, in fairness, have no reason to know better. For first-time Donors, there can be a lot to absorb. Between understanding the process itself, and the screening appointments, and the medical procedures… we won’t sugarcoat it. It’s a lot to deal with. The last thing anyone needs on top of everything else is to field a barrage of somewhat invasive questions from people who are perhaps well-intentioned, but ignorant to what you’re going to be dealing with. Here are some questions you’ll likely hear from the people in your life, and how to approach responding (if you should feel compelled at all).
1.How much do you get paid?
If you are becoming an Egg Donor (or Surrogate), you will be asked this question often. Whether you are comfortable answering or not is completely up to you and will likely depend on your relationship with the person asking. Just remember that it is nobody’s business whether you receive compensation, or how much that compensation is, and you are well within your rights to say as much.
2.What goes into an egg donation, anyway?
This is probably the most important question an Egg Donor can get from a member of the general public, largely because the way it is answered can go a long way in terms of dispelling misinformation and myths about the process. Addressing misinformation is the best way to get rid of stigmas, so the answer to this question should be as honest as you feel comfortable with. For new Donors, of course, you may not yet be familiar enough with the process to give much clarity. But if you feel comfortable in your knowledge, being transparent with these inquiries can leave people with a much more accurate – and generally positive – view on egg donation and alternative family planning as a whole.
3.What if it makes you infertile? Don’t you want your own kids?
This is another question where a measured amount of honesty can go a long way. You will almost certainly receive this incredibly loaded question as an Egg Donor. First and foremost: ability to have children does not determine desire to have children, and not all Egg Donors want to have children of their own. As such, there’s nothing wrong with telling someone asking about this that it’s personal, or that you don’t wish to discuss it. But if you feel comfortable addressing the actual myth here, that can be helpful as well. The direct (and uncommon) risk of infertility with Egg Donors is with ovarian torsion (or, the twisting of fallopian tubes) as the result of Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS)… not, as the person asking you likely believes, because you are going to “run out of eggs.”
4.So… isn’t it YOUR kid? Won’t that be weird?
We have been trained to associate biology with family, and in many cases that is accurate. But unconventional and alternative families have existed for a very long time, and they’re just as real as any other type of family. Gently explain to the person asking, that although you will share genetic material with any children resulting from your donation, the child will have parents and you will not be one of them. You are helping to create the child; it is not your child.
And for any potential Donors reading this: don’t worry. It is not bad or wrong to feel connected to your own eggs – it merely means you would not be an ideal candidate for donating. Nor is it on you to sort out on your own, as the question will be covered during your initial psychological screening.
5.Do you get to meet the child?
The answer to this question depends on the agreement you have with the Intended Parents. While the majority of egg donations are anonymous, some are open and others are anonymous with an option to become open later, should the parties involved desire it. But none of that is really the point – when people ask you this question, remember that they are simply curious about your attachment to a hypothetical child who does not yet exist. A calm “No” or “That is up to the child” is a fine response.
6.What if the child finds you someday?
In the age of the internet, there is no such thing as a 100% guaranteed anonymous donation. Realistically, even in a closed donation, a savvy teenager with an internet connection combined with the fact that you’ve probably had some kind of social media presence at some point in your life means that donating in 2021 (and beyond) involves the distinct possibility that the child will someday find you (if they want to, that is). How you feel about that possibility is personal, of course, but be prepared for this question.
7.Why do Egg Donors get paid so much more than Sperm Donors?
On the surface, this is an odd (albeit common) question, because an Egg Donor would have no reason to know the going rates for Sperm Donors in the first place. That being said, the answer to this is relatively simple. Compensation for Egg Donors and Sperm Donors reflects the difficulty of the process the Donors go through. While both candidates are thoroughly screened in terms of background and genetic health, the actual process of retrieving the genetic material for one is nothing like the process for the other. Find out more about the egg donation process here.
8.Sounds like easy money. Should I become an Egg Donor?
As an Egg Donor, you have the unique opportunity to be completely honest with potentially interested donors in a way that only an Egg Donor could be. Egg Donation is an intense but rewarding process, and new Donors will always be in demand. However – it is not necessarily an easy process, and the screening systems between applying to donate and actually becoming an Egg Donor can be daunting. It’s important to dissuade potential donors of the idea that being an Egg Donor is something you casually step into for a quick buck. Instead, it’s the rare chance to truly change someone’s life for the better.
At Simple Surrogacy, our Surrogates, Egg Donors and Intended Parents are everything to us. Your comfort and positive experience are our top priority. If you have any questions about alternative family planning, or are interested in becoming an Egg Donor or Surrogate yourself, please contact us and our renowned team will be at your service.Go back
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