Building a Healthy Relationship with Intended Parents

Surrogates are generous individuals who help to provide deserving families with the gift of life. They understand that the surrogacy process is an intimate and emotional experience. That’s why it is of such great importance for surrogates to build a healthy relationship with the child’s intended parents. Surrogate pregnancy is unique in that it is a shared experience, even in cases where the intended parents and surrogate live thousands of miles apart.

It takes high-quality communication and empathy to ensure that all parties get the most out of the surrogacy. The starting point of a successful surrogacy journey is a healthy relationship between surrogates and intended parents. Here are some tips to help build a great relationship with intended parents during your surrogacy.

Understanding the Relationship

It’s essential to be cognizant and empathetic of the circumstances of intended parents. Most often these individuals are people who may be experiencing infertility or have had trouble conceiving on their own. They want to fulfill the basic wish of starting a family and becoming loving parents to a child.

Intended parents have little to no control over a surrogate’s pregnancy. They must trust that you are making the best decisions for the healthy development of their child. To give such monumental trust can be difficult in life-long relationships, let alone to a person who you’ve only known for a short period of time.

Understanding the stress and concern of intended parents can help surrogates to empathize with them and help to make them feel as included as possible in the pregnancy.

Establish a Healthy Communication Routine

Intended parents often miss the small but important milestones in their child’s development whether it’s being there to feel the child’s first kick or being there for important check-ups. It’s not only courteous to keep them updated on your pregnancy, but it’s also the best way to make sure they are experiencing the joys of pregnancy with you.

It is common for surrogate mothers and intended parents to contact each other after significant milestones and doctor’s appointments. However, you can establish a routine of contact, whether’s it’s a scheduled weekly update or a monthly meetup. It’s completely possible to communicate with intended parents on a regular basis without feeling overwhelmed.

If communication is happening too often or becoming invasive, it’s important to share these thoughts early on. You can change the schedule to suit both your needs and the intended parent’s needs.

Final Thoughts

Surrogates and intended parents agree to experience the journey of surrogacy together and what “together” means will be different with each surrogacy. That said, it’s essential to establish a healthy relationship with intended parents for their peace-of-mind and yours. The more that you know about each other and communicate with each other, the more trust you will build.

Surrogacy requires a substantial amount of trust on both sides to be successful, and it takes real work to make that happen. However, you don’t need to do it alone. Working with an established agency can help to lessen your load and provide you with support.

At Simple Surrogacy, we have firsthand experience when it comes to making a surrogacy work with communication. Many of our staff have been surrogates themselves! We are happy to answer any questions or concerns that you may have. Contact us at (866) 618-0764 or fill out our online form. We look forward to hearing from you!

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