How To Introduce Your Children to Surrogacy

Are you considering becoming a Surrogate? Congratulations! This decision will provide a deserving couple or individual with the priceless gift of starting or growing their family. There are certain requirements that an individual must meet in order to become a Surrogate with Simple Surrogacy. One of these requirements is that you must have given birth to a child of your own without complications during the pregnancy and the delivery. Becoming a Surrogate can be a complicated thing to explain to adults, let alone your children. Keep reading to learn some ways that you can approach the subject and explain your selfless decision to your children. 

How to Talk to Your Children about Surrogacy

The first step is to introduce your children to the concept of surrogacy and ensure they understand what it is and how it will affect their day-to-day life. It is important to ensure that the conversation is not a one-time event, but an ongoing, open-ended conversation. Keep reading for some guidelines that can help you approach the subject in the best way.


A great way to introduce your children to surrogacy is through education. Many Surrogates choose to do so by reading their children books about surrogacy and other family-building methods. This will help your children learn about the subject and normalize surrogacy for them. These books can help start the conversation about wanting to help another family and allow you to ask them about how they feel about it. 


Explaining the surrogacy process is important, but you want to make sure that you don’t overwhelm your children with too much information before they are ready. Make sure to use simple, age-appropriate language that is easy for them to understand and use your personal judgement on what information is too much information. 


Children are often open-minded and take queues from their parents on how to react and behave. Therefore, it is very important that you show your children how excited you are about embarking on your surrogacy journey. You can achieve this by remaining positive and showing them how happy and proud you are to be helping another family.


Children may have a hard time understanding that the baby you are carrying is not their sibling and will not be a part of their daily life. They may even think that they will also have to go and live with another family. That is why it is important that you assure them that you love them, will continue taking care of them, and that the baby will receive the same love and care when they go to their home.

The main thing to remember when talking to your children about surrogacy is that they will have many questions that you must try your best to answer. If you are raising your children with a partner, make sure to work together with them to establish your boundaries and talking points prior to starting the conversation with your children.

How to Involve Your Children in the Surrogacy Process

Surrogacy is an intimate and life altering process that affects your entire family. This means you will need support from your family, including your children, in order to have a successful journey. The way that your children will be involved in the process depends on the age of your children, their maturity level, and your comfort level with their involvement. Once you have established your boundaries, there are many different ways to involve your children in the surrogacy process.

Introducing the Intended Parents

Once matched, you can inform your children that you have been matched with a set of Intended Parents. You can begin by telling your children about the Intended Parents, their story, why you are going to help them, and even show them pictures (depending on your surrogacy arrangement). This will provide your children with some context and clarity on the situation.

Hands-On Involvement

Oftentimes, allowing children to be hands-on during the process can ease some anxiety and confusion. You can begin small by asking them to help you write messages or take pictures to send to the Intended Parents. If you’d like, you can even have them help you create a scrapbook for the Intended Parents so that they, and the baby, will be able to look back at the beautiful journey that you helped them create. You can also allow your children to write letters or draw pictures for the Intended Parents and for the baby, as long as the Intended Parents are okay with it.

Meet with the Intended Parents

Depending on your surrogacy arrangement, having your children meet with the Intended Parents can be beneficial in helping them to understand the process. This can be as simple as visiting their home so that your children can understand where the baby will live or going out for dinner as a family with the Intended Parents so that they can get to know them.

Following some, or all, of these steps will help your children understand surrogacy, how it works, why you are doing it, and also allow them to be a part of your journey.

The Simple Surrogacy Difference

When you choose to work with Simple Surrogacy on your journey, we will be there to help you through every step of the process, including discussing surrogacy with your children. Many of our team members are previous Surrogates, so they can provide you with first-hand experiences about broaching the subject with their own children. Have a question about becoming a Surrogate? Contact us today to get the conversation started! 


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